The Fiery Heart
by SavannahKristen
Summary: A version of what could happen after the first chapter of The Fiery Heart. Sydrian. Hopper. Undercover shenanigans. Family secrets. Magic. The usual.
1. Chapter 1

_** "**__In The Indigo Spell, Sydney was torn between the Alchemist way of life and what her heart and gut were telling her to do. And in one breathtaking moment that Richelle Mead fans will never forget, she made a decision that shocked even her. . . ._

_But the struggle isn't over for Sydney. As she navigates the aftermath of her life-changing decision, she still finds herself pulled in too many directions at once. Her sister Zoe has arrived, and while Sydney longs to grow closer to her, there's still so much she must keep secret. Working with Marcus has changed the way she views the Alchemists, and Sydney must tread a careful path as she harnesses her profound magical ability to undermine the way of life she was raised to defend. Consumed by passion and vengeance, Sydney struggles to keep her secret life under wraps as the threat of exposure—and re-education—looms larger than ever.__Pulses will race throughout this thrilling fourth installment in the New York Times bestselling Bloodlines series, where no secret is safe."_

_-The official, irritatingly broad, description of The Fiery Heart__  
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**Hey there. I tried my hand at writing my version of The Indigo Spell before it came out, and I've decided to do the same thing for The Fiery Heart. I wouldn't be doing this if it weren't for all of your wonderful, kind, reviews and messages. You guys are why I write. I read each and every one of your reviews and they make my day.**

**Now that I've gotten that off of my chest, if you haven't read the official first chapter of The Fiery Heart, this fic might confuse you, and it will be full of spoilers, so don't read this until you've read that first chapter. You can find the official first chapter on Richelle's website. This fic starts off right after that chapter, and I really hope you guys enjoy it as much as I enjoy writing it.**

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**Chapter Two**

**Sydney**

"Athena."

"Athena?"

"That's the name I decided on. I was between that and Selene."

My history teacher, and magical mentor nodded from the driver's side. "Both are Greek goddesses," she mused with a smile. "I agree Athena fits you more. We already have a Selene, anyway."

"Who?" I asked curiously.

"Me," Ms. Terwilliger said, clearly amused.

"Oh," I said. My surprise made Ms. Terwilliger chuckle, and she pushed her glasses up her nose as we reached a red-light. They were always slipping down. I gazed out of the window, watching the sprawling city slowly morph into the dessert as we drove further and further out of town. Just over half a year ago, I would've been kicking and screaming and pleading to get out of this car. Just over half a year ago, I would've never agreed to going anywhere with a bunch of witches, let alone joining a coven. Times had changed though. _ I_ had changed.

As I put a hand up to block the sun from my eyes, I couldn't help but think about how far I'd come. I'd gone from being a semi-prisoner to a dishonest organization to being a double agent. In recent months, I'd embarked in a precarious friendship and now in a dangerous romantic relationship with a vampire. I'd also hunted down a fugitive and completed a perilous mission for him, one that proved a theory that he and his rebel faction group were speculating over. The evidence I'd found suggested that the Alchemists – the dishonest organization I was still semi-bound to – were in cahoots with a radical offshoot that supported genocide.

When I considered all of that, it probably wasn't all that surprising I was going along with joining a coven so easily.

The sound of my phone ringing pulled me from my thoughts. My heart leapt as it always did when my phone rang these days. Was it Adrian? I was disappointed to realize it was my everyday phone ringing, and not the "love phone." A fresh wave of fear cascaded over me as I saw that it was my father calling. I answered immediately, my fingers gripping the phone far more tightly than was necessary.

"Hello?" I answered, trying my best not to sound nervous, though my stomach was twisted in knots. My father didn't call to chat. The last time he'd called me, he'd threatened to send me to re-education, a sort of prison where disloyal Alchemists went to learn the errors of their ways. How they were taught the errors of those ways… I wasn't too sure. I was sure, however, that I never wanted to find out.

"Hello, Sydney." My father's voice came through the phone, sounding just as cold and crisp as the last time we'd spoken. "Is everything going alright with your mission?"

"Yes," I answered automatically, sitting up in my seat. Ms. Terwilliger noticed the change in my demeanor and shot me a concerned look. She had a right to be worried. If the Alchemists were onto my indiscretions, she was going to need to turn the car around and drive for the Mexican border. I didn't think we would have time to stop for gas, either.

"Zoe has expressed concerns about your conduct," he said. Disapproval was also typical of him. He'd never once said he was proud of me. I couldn't help but feel angry as I took in the implication of his words. Had Zoe been in contact with our father behind my back?

"Is that why you called?" I asked, not bothering to mask the bit of irritation in my voice.

"I called to let you know that your mother and I are getting a divorce."

The air was knocked out of me, and I gripped the side of the car for support. "_Wh-what?_" I asked. In the car's mirror, I could see that all of the color had gone from my face. My parents had fought a lot recently, but this wasn't what I had been expecting. Marriages hit rough patches all of the time and people did their best to work through them, right? My parents had been married over twenty years now. "Why?" I finally found my voice again.

"Your mother refuses to let go of the past," he responded with clinical detachment.

"As in what?" I demanded desperately. "Surely there's no need for a divorce. Whatever it is, you two can work through it."

"Obviously, if we could have," he said with malice, "we would have. I'll come to visit you and Zoe in a few weeks with information regarding custody."

My head was spinning so much with news of a divorce that I hadn't even begun to consider the consequences. Custody? I was eighteen, and as a legal adult, I had the right to choose who I lived with. As for Zoe… she wasn't so lucky. I knew that most courts tried to put the children with the mother if possible but with Zoe being an Alchemist… I didn't want to think about it. I didn't want to think about any of this really. What had happened? What had suddenly pushed them to a breaking point? What could have made them give up twenty years? What had made them give up on loving each other?

Had they _ever_ loved each other?

"Who's filing?" I asked suddenly.

"The specifics don't matter," My father responded. He hung up then, having nothing more to say on the matter. The world before me blurred and I was vaguely aware of Ms. Terwilliger calling my name. What did this mean for me? For Zoe? For Carly? For my mother? How was my mother handling this? The thought of her single, and no longer being tied to my father was foreign to me. Would I have a step-father someday? Maybe he would treat her better than my father had; maybe he would treat her the way Adrian treated me.

Ms. Terwilliger gently touched my shoulder. "Sydney," she called, in a rare show of using my first name, instead of my nick name Ms. Melbourne which she'd given me on the first day of school.

"Sorry ma'am," I said with a sigh. "That was my father."

"Is everything alright?" She asked, and I was touched by her concern. I'd once looked down on her for the way she'd pushed me to study magic, but those days were long gone. Now she and I were rather close. I looked up to her not only as a magical mentor, but for the woman she was as well. She was a strong and steady influence in my life.

"My parents are getting divorced," I said numbly.

Her eyes widened and then she quirked an eyebrow. "And your father _called_ you to tell you that?" She asked with a disapproving tone. "That was a quick conversation for that sort of thing too."

"That's kind of how he works," I said, crossing my arms and staring out the window. "Short and to the point."

"Hmm." Was all she said. We rode in silence for the rest of the way, my dark thoughts seeming to engulf her small car. An evening I had once been excited for had been marred by the empty feeling in my stomach brought on by such unsettling news. I was so lost in my troublesome thoughts that I barely noticed when the car came to a stop. When I glanced up, I was stunned to see that we weren't in our usual place.

The last coven meeting I'd attended was at Maude's – at least, that was her magical name – house. She was an extremely powerful witch, and leader of the Stelle. She had powers beyond Ms. Terwilliger's abilities, which blew my mind. As I looked around our current location, I was befuddled. We were in the middle of the desert… except... we weren't. We were at an oasis, I realized.

All around us for miles and miles there were rolling dunes of sand and rock, yet just in front of us lay paradise. Bright green palm trees sprung up from the rocky terrain creating a small forest and just beyond them lay a still pond. The palm trees encircled the pond, making it where it was barely visible. I could just barely catch a glimpse of a few shimmering lights through the trees.

"Chin up," Ms. Terwilliger told me. "This is your night. Don't let anything change that," she instructed, and though her voice was authoritative, her eyes were kind. "You've worked hard to get here. Enjoy every moment of it."

I gave her a weak smile. "I think you've worked harder to get me here than I have, ma'am."

Humor twinkled in her eyes, and she nudged me forward, taking my purse, and citing that I couldn't have anything with me during the initiation. I smoothed the fabric of my dresswith my hands nervously as we walked toward the oasis. I'd worn this dress to seduce someone a little over a month ago and, since it had proved itself successful, I'd decided to try my hand at the femme fatale thing once more tonight. Hopefully my dress would take away from my hair, which was a little messier than usual. My new rebellious lifestyle required a lot more time management and the extra time I spent flattening and perfecting my hair was one of the first things I'd had to cut. If messier hair meant more time with Adrian, then it was worth it.

"What all are they going to do, ma'am?" I asked. I knew the witches wouldn't hurt me, but I still wanted to have an idea of what I'd be walking into. She'd given me vague details about it in the past few weeks, but nothing too much. It was such a secretive initiation, even the initiate wasn't allowed to be let in on the program.

Ms. Terwilliger sighed. "They're just going to swear you in, that's all. Maude makes it sound like a lot bigger deal than it is, I assure you."

I smiled. Maude was the leader of the coven, and perhaps the only witch I knew who was more colorful than Ms. Terwilliger, in a literal and metaphorical sense. Tthe only thing brighter than her personality was the color of her flamboyant clothing. She wore some of the most extravagant dresses I'd ever seen; dresses that I wouldn't be caught dead wearing. She greeted us at the edge of the oasis, stepping out from the cover of the palm trees. Her dress for tonight was beautiful: the silver fabric seeming to glisten and shimmer in the moonlight.

She reached out and clasped my hands. "So, so, glad that you're joining us," she exclaimed. Maude was in her early sixties, but she had a youthful spirit that radiated from her, contradicting her age.

"Is this your callistana?" Ms. Terwilliger asked suddenly, holding out the crystal dragon.

"Hey!" I exclaimed, nearly snatching my purse from her. "When I gave that to you, I didn't expect you to go rummaging through it!" There were things in there I didn't necessarily want her to see, including the contraceptive I'd recently started taking. I was still a virgin, of course, but I'd started birth control as soon as Adrian and I had started dating just to be safe. I'd decided to keep it in my purse, since it was the only place I could be certain Zoe wouldn't go looking through. The last thing I wanted was to have a conversation with Ms. Terwilliger about birth control.

"I could sense the callistana was in there, that's all," Ms. Terwilliger said, not at all phased by my demands. "You should let him out. He'd love being around all of the magic tonight."

"I thought I couldn't have anything with me?"

This made Ms. Terwilliger and Maude chuckle. "You can have a callistana with you," Maude responded, waving a hand down. "Come on. We want to start before the sun comes up." She snapped her fingers impatiently and I grabbed the crystal dragon from Ms. Terwillige, before Maude began half-dragging me through the palm trees. I nearly hit one of them as I tickled the statue's chin and muttered the incantation to return him to his true form. Hopper came alive and let out a tiny cry as we nearly hit yet another palm tree. He gave me a look that translated to: What's going on?

"Slow down!" I insisted. She didn't seem to care that I was struggling to keep up with her, and continued moving at her blindingly fast pace. However, it wasn't long until we reached a stopping point. I caught my breath, but as I looked at my view, it was just as quickly taken away.

We were standing on top of a sand dune on the edge of the oasis, looking down on the pond. The palm trees surrounded us from all sides, but from atop of the dune, I could see over them, and out into the barren desert. The moon reflected off of the pond's water which was black in the dim lighting. I noticed the lights I'd caught sight of earlier were actually tiny Japanese lanterns, spelled to float around the scene while the rest of the coven stood below us at the edge of the pond.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" Maude asked me, gently guiding me forward to the edge of the dune.

"Magical," I told her breathlessly. A couple of torches to my side ignited, making me jump. The flames were white, and I watched them, enraptured as they flickered against the night sky.

Maude cleared her throat, silencing the whispers. "My Stelle sisters, tonight we come together to welcome a new member. One with just as much promise as she has integrity, something that is ever so important these days."

I searched the happy faces below for Ms. Terwilliger, who to my surprise looked quite troubled. She seemed to sense my gaze on her, and glanced up, to give me a very forced smile that turned to a look of pride as she listened to Maude continue to praise me. I hadn't been complimented very often in my life, and being on the receiving end of such kind words and admiring looks was rather overwhelming. I tried to smile and appear confident, and it grew easier and easier to do as the night went on.

Most of the initiation required me promising my loyalty, promising only to use my magic for good reasons, and promising never to abuse my power.

"And you do understand that should you choose to leave the Stelle, you must keep our practices secret?"

That caught me off guard. "I can leave?" I asked, a bit stunned.

Maude gave me a confused look. "Of course, dear. You're agreeing to work with us toward a common goal, not signing your life away."

I blinked a few times, and felt a sagging relief wash over me. The Stelle were so unlike the Alchemists, and this was one of the reasons why. This type of loyalty wasn't forced, but rather requested. I could walk away if I wanted and, hopefully, leave as a friend, instead of a fugitive.

"Thank you," I said with more emotion than I'd intended. I caught Ms. Terwilliger's eye again, and realized she was the only one who'd understood just what those words had meant. The audience was silent and I realized I hadn't answered the question. "Yes, if I ever leave, I understand I must keep our practices secret."

Maude gave me a warm smile then. "Alright. Take my hands." I did as she requested, and as soon as our hands linked, a giant wall of fire erupted around us. I was too petrified to move, and Hopper slid under my dress's collar in an attempt to shield himself from the flames. I didn't dare squirm to move him, but held onto Maude's hands for dear life.

"Athena," Maude told me confidently, "welcome to the ranks." I was suddenly taken back to a month ago when Marcus Finch, leader of a rebel faction group, had said the very same words to me. He'd worked with me and shown me the true nature of the Alchemists, something I could never thank him enough for. He'd broken the compulsion in my tattoo which had been forcing me to be loyal to them. It had been a powerful and dark moment for me, one that still haunted me when I was alone; the Alchemists' deceitful ways never left my mind completely. Even though my tattoo was broken, they still managed to have power over me in silent, calculating ways. The fresh memory of their lies held more power than any tattoo, and it _infuriated_ me, and _sickened_ me, to the point that I couldn't bear to speak of it.

The coven clapped and the fire subsided. Maude gripped my hands a moment longer than was necessary. "Are you alright?" She whispered.

"Just a bit overwhelmed, that's all," I said, turning to the crowd and gave them my best smile, even though my hands were trembling. "But in a good way," I assured her, pushing the Alchemists to the back of my mind, which was constantly reeling with new ways to dig up dirt on them.

The rest of the night was a blur of hugs and welcoming words. When it was over, I found myself relieved. Maybe some people liked attention, and while I'd admit it had its perks, it was tiring having to constantly be "on" for everyone; having to constantly have a smile for everyone.

"You were wonderful up there," Ms. Terwilliger told me on the drive home.

I sighed. "You could've warned me about the fire. Hopper barely avoided cardiac arrest." I'd dug him out of my dress the second Maude and I had stepped off of the sand dune, and his eyes had looked more like saucers. He was content now though, snoring lightly on top of the dashboard.

"I didn't want to spoil the surprise," Ms. Terwilliger told me, amused once more. She, like me, had been quiet most of the ride home, seeming to be as lost in her thoughts as I was in mine. I wondered if she was thinking of her sister, Veronica, who was lying comatose in a hospital, because of a spell an evil witch named, Alicia, had cast on her. Alicia was still alive somewhere, probably planning her revenge, which was one of the reasons I'd joined the Stelle. I needed protection due to the fact it was very likely Alicia was going to come after me. We'd gotten into a magical fight a month ago, and I'd nearly killed her. She was sure to be holding a grudge.

"Any improvements with Veronica, ma'am?" I asked. My heart went out to Ms. Terwilliger, as I understood the love you could have for a sister. I had two sisters of my own, two who were probably just as shocked as I was about my parent's divorce. I made a mental note to call my oldest sister Carly soon, and another to call my mother.

"She's just the same as she was the last time you asked," Ms. Terwilliger told me numbly. "Any improvements with_your_ sister?"

I leaned my head against the back of the seat. "Depends on your definition of the word improvement. She's still blindly loyal to the Alchemists, and she would still disown me if she knew I was involved in witchcraft."

Ms. Terwilliger sighed. "Maybe someday she'll see reason. I doubt she'll ever want anything to do with the magic though. I do sense that she could be powerful if she put her mind to it."

I snapped my head around to look at her. "She has magic?" I wasn't strong enough to sense other magic users yet.

Ms. Terwilliger shook her head. "When I say powerful, I mean that she'll be able to think on her own, to stand up for herself. Just because you have magic, doesn't mean that Zoe does. Magic's just like any other gene. Some boys and girls get it, others don't."

"Oh," I said, not sure whether I was relieved or disappointed. "Wait," I said suddenly giving her a look of disbelief. "Boys?"

Ms. Terwilliger chuckled. "Yes. You didn't think magic was a gene belonging exclusively to women, did you?"

"I've never met a male magic user," I mused. "The Stelle is all women."

"Indeed," said Ms. Terwilliger. "There are some covens that have both men and women, and some that keep the genders separate. I've always preferred all women myself. Warlocks are a bit cocky for my liking. They would rather show-off than address the issues at hand." She shook her head. "I've only dated a few, and though they've been pleasurable experiences…" she gave me a smile. "I don't think they're really your type."

"I'm not looking to date anyone. I'm taken."

This seemed to amuse her. "I know."

"So if magic's a gene," I asked her, thinking back to a few of her words. "I had to inherit it… does that mean one of my parents is a magic user?" The thought both perplexed me and worried me. Surely not… surely they would've said something.

She took a deep breath before saying her next words. "Your mother is."

"No she's not," I said automatically. "She would've told me."

"With an Alchemist in the house? I highly doubt it."

"No," I argued, shaking my head vehemently. "She wouldn't lie to me like that."

"I knew your mother when we were younger," Ms. Terwilliger said. "She was most definitely a magic user. She stopped practicing."

"And why haven't you told me this until now?" I demanded.

"Because you weren't ready until now," Ms. Terwilliger told me gravely.

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**And there you have it. The beginning (of the end, haha). The official second chapter is supposed to be released sometime this month, so we'll have to see how different they wind up being. I've got this entire fic planned out, a lot more intricately than my previous ones, and I'm really excited to dive into it. If you've read my previous fics, you might notice a few plot similarities, though I promise ahead of time that they are going to be gone about and dealt with entirely differently. I've missed writing on here, and I'm so happy to be doing it once again.**

**Also, shout out to my newly acquired beta, Tegan, who helps me so, so, much. You should check out her awesome art on her tumblr, khaleesisage .  
**

**Also, you can follow me on tumblr as savannahkristenwrites for updates on this fic and anything else I'm working on. :) **


	2. Chapter 2

**Note: The text in bold is actually an actual excerpt from the official Fiery Heart. Judging by Penguin's tweets, I think this is where a particular snippet we got will take place, and I've copied and pasted it into the chapter. All credit goes to the fabulous Richelle Mead! **

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**Chapter Three**

**Adrian**

The rest of our night at Clarence's was filled with tension. All of us – except for Neil, Mr. Professional, - were torn between whether or not to comfort Zoe. She sat in silence most of the time, her petulant attitude replaced by a forced neutral expression. I knew she was counting down the seconds until she'd be away from all of us, and back with Sydney, where she could discuss their parent's divorce in private. I resisted to urge to prod for details on the matter. I constantly having to remind myself that it wasn't responsible for me to look overly considerate for Sydney in any way, shape, or form.

When I was free of our motley crew and back in my apartment for the night, I didn't waste any time calling her on the love phone. When she didn't pick up, I left her a voicemail and paced around my apartment nervously. This divorce was sure to send her head spinning. She'd mentioned her parents arguing after the Alchemists had put her on house arrest for helping Rose, but she hadn't said they were anywhere near a divorce. Judging from her shocked expression, Sage junior hadn't been expecting anything of the sort either.

Also on my mind was the art project I had due tomorrow. I'd had yet to get started on it, and I felt myself slipping into the same, dark, frustration I had earlier that day. I crossed my arms, and knelt down in front of one of the easels, staring up at the blank canvas jut as I had earlier. Nothing felt different, except it was dark outside and the city had grown unusually silent. Sydney remained on my mind as I sorted through my different paints; I hoped one of the colors might give me an idea. I kept my records on low in the background, wanting to make sure I could hear my phone if Sydney called back.

When I heard the love phone vibrate, I dashed over to the plaid couch to retrieve it. Sydney had sent me a simple text: _Dealing with Zoe. Talk to you later._

I knew by later she meant when I visited her in her dreams. She'd probably be dealing with Zoe's angst and worries for at least another hour, and then it would take her a while to fall asleep after that. I sighed and turned back to my empty canvas. It seemed as though I couldn't even find a legitimate excuse to avoid my homework. I desperately wanted to pour my single drink of the day, but knew I would need it more after I'd visited Sydney in her dreams. Spirit would rear its ugly head again then, and I'd have to fight it off before class tomorrow morning.

Thoughts of Sydney's broken family situation continued to plague my mind, and I found myself thinking of my own family situation. My mother was incarcerated, and my father was . . . unconcerned. Once again, the ghost of my Aunt Tatiana haunted me, flashes of her horribly mangled body paying before my eyes. I shook my head and reached down into my paints, pouring out a few darker colors. I wasn't sure what was going to go on the canvas at this point but I had to turn something in tomorrow, even if it was mediocre.

I started with a pallet of grays, brushing long, careful strokes across the canvas. The back ground looked like something akin to concrete. I let out a sigh when I'd finished it, and crossed my arms. It hit me as suddenly as it always did, the inspiration. It rushed over me, and seemed to remove all of the inhibitions and hesitations I had. I felt a small smile etch across my face as my idea unfolded before me.

From my bucket of paints, I pulled the brightest colors I could find and began splattering them across the concrete. The concrete was barren, broken in many different places, but the colors I added brought life to it. The color covered the cracks, and slowly made the concrete shine and sparkle. I used the bright yellow and purple from Sydney's aura, the flaming red I always associated with Rose, and the jade green of Jill's innocent eyes. Along with the symbolic colors, I also added any others that I liked. When I had finished, I took a step back and regarded my work fondly. The concrete was me on my darker days, I decided. It was worn and cracked, but there were special spots of color that gave it life; special spots of color that gave it good character and a reason to press on.

When I glanced to the clock, I was surprised to see it was nearly two in the morning. I headed to the shower to wash up and then changed into my boxers. I didn't sleep in anything else, especially in Palm Springs; it was never cold enough for anything other than boxers in south California. I headed to my liquor cabinet and poured myself a glass of vodka and orange juice, something I'd recently educated Sydney on. She couldn't understand why the drink was called a screwdriver, and had promised to look into it. I had told her the drink probably didn't have a very enthralling back story, but she couldn't be swayed when she got determined about something.

I sat my drink on my nightstand and crawled into bed, closing my eyes as I felt around for Sydney's mind. I connected to my magic instantaneously and it enveloped me in its dangerous high. I strained to reach for her, searching through the hundreds of minds that were sleeping around me. When I did reach her, I decided to have us dreamwalk in the Getty Villa, the place where Sydney and I had officially become a couple. It was where she and I had decided that being together was worth all of the risks. The memory made me both happy and afraid. Somewhere, deep down, I knew that she probably should've gone to Mexico and gotten her tattoo sealed, but I couldn't stand the thought of losing her, or of someone else "saving" her, so to speak. If Sydney was in danger, I wanted her to run away with _me_, not some rebel leader who didn't understand the purpose of a hairbrush.

She stood before me in the dream, the picturesque scenery behind her. Unlike when she'd met me here last time, she didn't wear a bright smile on her face. She wore a weak one, a forced one that didn't meet her eyes.

"Hey," she said, walking forward and pressing a quick kiss to my lips.

"Hey yourself," I said, noticing her attire for the dream. She was wearing a black dress she'd once worn to seduce an annoyingly Sydney-obsessed Alchemist named Ian. The dress clung everywhere and was enough to drive any man wild, let alone an Alchemist who probably thought third base was shaking a girl's hand. Poor bastard, I thought. I placed my hands on her hips and drew her closer.

"How did everything go tonight?" I asked cautiously. "Zoe got the call while we were all at Clarence's." I didn't mention it was just after she'd bitched at Angeline for wanting her to order a pizza. Sydney's face remained controlled, but her golden eyes gave her away. They swam with unanswered questions and frustration and worry.

"I know. She told me. I got the call on the way to the coven meeting." She leaned her head on my shoulder. "Zoe's really torn up."

"And you?" I asked, not really caring how Zoe was taking all of this. Sydney was my number one priority. Zoe had Sydney to fuss over her and hold her hand. Sydney didn't have anyone to talk to other than me who really understood her.

"I don't know what I am. I don't what I should be." She pulled back and gave me a look. "My father was as vague as always about what happened. He said something about my mom not being able to let go of the past…but that's all."

"Maybe your mom finally got sick of him," I said, before I could help it.

She scoffed at this. "My sisters and I have been sick of him since I can remember. Why would my mom just leave_now_? She's tolerated him so long, for whatever reason, and now she's just quitting. It seems odd. She could've saved our family a lot of pain if she'd left him sooner," she said. There was a bitterness in her voice I rarely heard when she spoke of her mother. I understood it perfectly. As much as she loved her mother… well, it was hard to love someone who stayed with someone that hurt you, and didn't treat them the way they deserved to be treated. I'd tried to get my mother to leave my father countless times, but she'd never budged.

Sydney's jaw was still tight with frustration. "Of course," she said, in that same bitter tone, "there are probably reasons she stayed I don't know about. Apparently she likes to keep secrets too."

I pulled back and gave Sydney a surprised look. She shook her head, and forced some of that bitterness to fade. "Ms. Terwilliger knew my mother when they were younger. My mother's a witch, apparently, and she never saw that a family secret worth sharing."

I sighed, brushing a few stray golden strands back from her face. "Maybe she was trying to protect you," I said gently.

"And that makes it okay? No one needs to decide when or whether or not I can handle the truth. I'm sick of being told 'important' lies. It's like there are so many secrets in my life, and everyone knows that, and they're afraid if they tell me one more I'll snap or something." She took a deep breath after she was finished and I clasped her hands tightly, an uneasy feeling I couldn't explain washing over me. Sydney's life was a puzzle, that was for sure, but I couldn't help but wonder what one more earth-shattering secret _would_ do to her. She'd taken most of the information she'd discovered with such control. She'd held herself together through learning vampires weren't evil, through learning she was a witch, through learning Marcus Finch and his rebellion existed and that her golden lily tattoo was laced with compulsion, through learning the Alchemists were working with the Warriors, and now through learning her parents were getting divorced and that her mother was a witch.

_ How much more could she possibly take? _

We talked a little while longer and I tried to cheer her up, not to say that she was particularly down or sad. She was rarely moody, no matter what shit was going on in her life and it was one of the many things about her I admired.

"Oh," she grabbed me, just as I was about to bid her goodnight. "I left Hopper with Maude."

I gave her a questionable look. "I didn't know the leader of the coven doubled as a babysitter."

"She caught up with me and Ms. Terwilliger on the way home and said she'd let Hopper spend the night with her. She has a callistana, and she thinks they'd get along."

"Are you sure our son is old enough to go on play dates?" I teased her.

She rolled her eyes playfully, though I could see them twinkling with humor. "Maude said she'd keep him for the night, but you need to come by and pick him up tomorrow. Can you do that?" Her golden eyes were wide and expectant. Even if I'd wanted to, it would've been impossible for me to say no.

"Of course," I assured her. She gave me one of her genuine smiles then, the kind that warmed me from head to toe. I let the spirit dream fade, and I cut myself off from the magic, that familiar darkness began to etch over me, stronger than it had earlier. My room felt cold, and I felt dejected and unwanted. The world before me swam and I reached for my drink. I downed it and rested my head on my pillow, closing my eyes tightly, and trying to ignore the darkness that slowly but surely ate away at my mind…

* * *

When I arrived at Carlton the next day, most of that darkness had subsided. I walked into the building, holding my latest painting carefully in my arms, alight with the prospect of bettering myself. It was far cry from where I'd been this time last year, which was drowning in alcohol and women whose names I didn't remember. I went through the motions of my first few classes, paying close attention to my instructors, and writing down all of my assignments. Most of my classmates were friendly, and seemed to like me. There was one guy, Mark Mahathey, that seemed to have a grudge against me, however, I think it had to do with the fact he was a sore loser. He'd lost the position of class clown to me on the first day of class. Our teacher had instructed we paint something that inspired us, and I'd painted her. Mark was obviously bitter because he hadn't thought of something so brilliant.

When class was done for the day, I stood waiting for one of my friends outside of the north building; I smiled when I saw her. She was carrying about five different canvases, and I gallantly rushed to her side to help her with them.

"Don't try and pretend to be a gentlemen, Melrose," she told me dryly, refusing to let me help her load the canvases into her car. **Rowena Clark and I had met on the first day of our mixed media class. I'd sat down at her table and said, "Mind if I join you? Figure the best way to learn about art is to sit with a masterpiece." Maybe I was in love, but I was still Adrian Ivashkov.**

**Rowena had fixed me with a flat look. "Let's get one thing straight. I can see through crap a mile away, and I like girls, not guys, so if you can't handle me telling you what's what, then you'd better take your one-liners and hair gel somewhere else. I don't go to this school to put up with pretty boys like you. I'm here to face dubious employment options with a painting degree and then go get a Guinness after class.**

She lifted the hood precariously, and I kept my hands off as she loaded everything in the trunk, knowing she might very well smack me if I tried to help.

"I'm hurt you'd refuse my help, Ro," I told her, clasping a hand across my chest. "Am I not good enough?"

"Your heart's on the other side of your chest, Melrose."

"Dammit," I said, shaking my head. "I did that in front of my girlfriend the other day. She didn't even correct me." Though thinking back on it, she had been trying not to laugh.

"She was probably trying not to hurt your fragile feelings," Ro said with a flick of her hair. She leaned back against her car once she'd finished unloading the paintings, looking up at me with dry humor. As she did this, she leaned back against the bumper, which caused the trunk to give way. The trunk closed on top of her hand and she cried out. I jumped from where I was leaning against my mustang and helped her get her hand out.

"Shit!" She hissed, shaking it and then crying out loudly when she did. "I'm such an idiot!" She let out frantically, biting her lip. "Oh my God, I think it's broken!" she said between breaths as she examined it more carefully. "Oh no, no, no. Dammitt!" A couple of people walking by stared. "Shit! I can't even wiggle my fingers!" She let out another long string of profanities then, and then she grew still, giving me a serious look.

"Adrian," she began, "how in hell am I going to pass my classes with a broken hand?"

"Let me see it," I said automatically. I reached out carefully, and examined it. I was no doctor, but even I could tell it was definitely broken. I met her dark eyes, which were brimming with tears. How was she going to pass her classes with a broken hand? This hand was the hand she painted with, I was sure of it. What could I do to help?

I could heal her, I realized. As soon as the idea was in my head, there was no getting rid of it. I acted instinctively; my friend was in pain and she needed my help.

The magic rushed over me and I felt it wash over her as well. The world was full of light then, and happiness, and music, and all things beautiful. I watched as her hand reset itself and healed completely. Not a mark remained from her accident. Ro pulled her hand back then, staring at me incredulously. She held her hand up, examining it, and I felt a chill rush over me, that had nothing to with the darkness. I'd used magic in front of a human, in front of someone who had no connection to the supernatural world.

"Wh-what did you just do?" She asked me, her eyes wide. "It's healed. How the hell did you do that?" She moved forward, and I grabbed her shoulders.

"I didn't do anything," I told her sternly, reaching out to magic once more. "You came out to the parking lot. I helped you get your canvases in the car, and now we're saying goodbye." She looked like she might argue, but then her eyes suddenly widened, and that determination in them faded.

"We're saying goodbye," she said robotically.

"Yes," I told her.

She gave me a genuine smile then. "Goodbye, Adrian," she told me, and then she turned to get in her car as though nothing had happened.

After that experience, I was shaken to say the least. The darkness I was wrestling with now made the bout I had of it yesterday seem like nothing. I headed to a few nearby department stores, hoping to distract myself with something besides liquor. Sydney's birthday was in a few weeks, and I tried to focus on finding her the perfect gift but all I accomplished was to frustrate and stress myself out even more. At a loss, I picked up a pizza for dinner, and then returned to my apartment.

**It happened with these bouts of magic. I'd barely been able to drag myself out of bed when I'd brought Jill back. The toll of wielding so much life was just too great, and the mind rebounded from the high. Well, mine did. Lissa didn't have these dramatic ups and downs. Hers was more of a steady darkness that lingered with her for a few days, keeping her moody and melancholy until it lifted. Sonya had a mix of both effects.**

**_My little brooding artist,_ Aunt Tatiana used to say with a chuckle, when I got in these moods. _What's gotten into your head today?_ She'd speak fondly, like it was adorable. I could almost hear her voice now, almost see her standing there beside me. With a shaking breath, I closed my eyes and willed the image away. She wasn't here. Shadow-kissed people could see the dead. Crazy people only imagined them.**

**I ate my pizza standing at the counter, telling myself over and over that this mood would pass. I knew it would. It always did. But oh, how the waiting sucked.**

**When I finished, I returned to the living room and stared at the paintings. What had seemed wonderful and inspired now seemed shallow and stupid. They embarrassed me. I gathered them all up and tossed them into a corner on top of each other, uncaring of the torn canvas or wet paint.**

**Then I hit the liquor cabinet.**

**I'd made good progress on a bottle of tequila, sprawled on my bed and listening to Pink Floyd, when the bedroom door opened a couple hours later. I smiled when I saw Sydney. I was adrift on the buzz of tequila, which had effectively muted spirit and taken the edge off that terrible, terrible low. That wasn't to say I was bright and peppy either, but I no longer wanted to crawl into a hole. I'd defeated spirit, and seeing Sydney's beautiful face lifted me up even more.**

**She smiled back, and then, in one sharp glance, assessed the situation. The smile vanished. "Oh, Adrian," was all she said.**

**I held up the bottle. "It's Cinco de Mayo somewhere, Sage."**

**Her eyes made a quick sweep of the room. "Is Hopper celebrating with you?"**

**"Hopper? Why would—" My mouth snapped shut for a few moments. "Oh. I, uh, kind of forgot about him."**

**"I know. Maude sent a message by way of Ms. Terwilliger asking if someone was going to come for him."**

**"Crap." After everything that had happened with Rowena, my dragon fosterling had been the last thing on my mind. "I'm sorry, Sage. Totally slipped my mind. I'm sure he's fine, though. It's not like he's a real kid. And like I said, he's probably loving it."**

**But her expression didn't change, except to grow graver. She walked over and took the tequila from me, then carried it to the window. Too late, I realized what she was doing. She opened the window and dumped the rest of the bottle outside. I sat up with a jolt.**

**"That's expensive stuff!"**

**She shut the window and turned to face me. That look drew me up short. It wasn't angry. It wasn't sad. It was…disappointed.**

**"You promised me, Adrian. A social drink isn't a problem. Self-medicating is."**

**"How do you know it was self-medicating?" I asked, though I didn't contradict her.**

**"Because I know you, and I know the signs. Also, I sometimes check up on your bottles. You made a big dent in this one tonight—much more than a social drink." Glancing at the window, I nearly pointed out that technically, she was the one who'd made a big dent in the tequila.**

**"I couldn't help it," I said, knowing how lame that sounded. It was as bad as Angeline's "it's not my fault" mantra. "Not after what happened."**

**Sydney put the empty bottle on the dresser and then sat beside me on the bed. "Tell me."**

**I explained about Rowena and her hand and how the rest of the day's events had unfolded. It was difficult staying on track with the story because I kept wanting to meander and make excuses. I left out the part about despairing over birthday gifts. When I finally finished, Sydney gently rested her hand on my cheek.**

**"Oh, Adrian," she said again, and this time, her voice was sad.**

**I rested my hand over hers. "What was I supposed to do?" I whispered. "It was like Jill all over again. Well—not quite as bad. But there she was. She needed me, and I could help—then when she noticed, I had to make sure she forgot. What else was I supposed to do? Should I have let her break her hand? Should have I let her ruin her career? What else was I supposed to do?"**

**Sydney drew me into her arms and was silent for a long time. "I don't know. I mean, I know you couldn't _not_help. It's who you are. But I wish you hadn't. No…that's not right. I'm glad you did. Really. I just wish it wasn't so…complicated." She shook her head. "I'm not explaining it correctly. I'm no good at this."**

**"You hate that, don't you? Not knowing what to do." I rested my head against her shoulder, catching the faint scent of her perfume. "And you hate me like this."**

**"I love you," she said. "But I worry about you. Have you ever thought about…I mean, didn't Lissa take antidepressants for a while? Didn't that help her?"**

**I lifted my head swiftly. "No. I can't do that. I can't cut myself off from the magic like that."**

**"But she felt better, right?" Sydney pushed.**

**"She…yes. Kind of." I had no problems with "liquid healing," but pills made me squeamish. "She _did_ feel better. She didn't get depressed. She didn't cut herself anymore. But she missed the magic, and so she stopped the pills. You don't know what it's like, that rush of spirit. Feeling like you're in tune with every living thing in the world."**

**"I might understand it better than you think," she said.**

**"It's more than that, though. She also stopped because she needed the magic back to help Rose. What if I needed it back? What if it was you that was hurt or dying?" I gripped Sydney's shoulders, needing her to understand my desperation and how much she meant to me. "What if you needed me, and I couldn't help you?"**

**She removed my hands and held them between hers, her face tranquil. "Then we deal. That's what most people do in the world. They can't rely on miracles. You take your chances. I'd rather have you stable and happy than risk your sanity on the slim chance a concrete block will fall on me."**

**"Could you sit by if you had the ability to help someone?"**

**"No. Which is why I'm trying to help you." But I could see the conflict in her, and I understood her anxiety.**

**"No pills," I said firmly. "This won't happen again. I'll try harder. I'll be stronger. Have faith that I can do this on my own."**

**Hesitating, she looked as though she might keep arguing the matter, but at last, she nodded in resignation. She drew me down to the bed and kissed me, even though I knew she didn't like the taste of tequila. The kiss reinforced that connection between us, that burning sense I always had that she was made for me, and I was made for her. Surely if I could just drown myself in her, I'd never need alcohol or pills of any kind.**

**"I have to go," she said at last. "I'm only supposed to be out buying toothpaste. It was a boring enough errand that Zoe wouldn't want to come."**

**I brushed wayward golden strands away from her face. "Clarence's tomorrow night?"**

**She nodded. "Wouldn't miss it."**

**I walked her to the front door. She did a double take at the ruined paintings but didn't say anything and kept her expression neutral.**

**"I mean it," I told her. "I'll try."**

**"I know," she said. That earlier look of disappointment in her eyes still haunted me.**

**"I can be strong," I added.**

**She smiled and stood on her tiptoes to kiss me goodbye. "You already are," she murmured. I watched her disappear into the night and hoped I'd been telling her the truth.**

* * *

**I hope that you guys enjoyed this chapter! If feels so great to be updating regularly again. Things are going to start going downhill/kicking off soon, so get ready. Your reviews make my day!**

**Once again, a shout out to my amazing beta, Tegan, who fixes all of my stupid mistakes and nearly corrects all of my American spellings to Australian ones. ;) **


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Four**

**Sydney**

The drive home from Adrian's apartment was agonizing. I held the steering wheel in a death grip, clinging to it so hard that my knuckles were white. My heart was heavy, and even though I was exhausted, my mind was racing. I'd known something was wrong the instant Ms. Terwilliger had told me he hadn't gone by Maude's to pick up Hopper. I understood very well why he'd healed his friend, but he couldn't start doing that every time someone got hurt. The image of the canvases thrown across the apartment refused to leave my mind as I pulled into the Amberwood parking lot.

The paintings he'd thrown about had been beautiful, and it was a shame he'd ruined them, but I couldn't help but wonder how low of a point he must've been at to do such a thing. How alone and depressed had he felt to bring himself to toss such hard work around? How tightly had the darkness held him in its clutches and for how long? Was I wrong to discourage his drinking when it meant he was suffering through mental anguish? Had I been too hard on him? Had I not been hard enough?

"_I can be strong,"_ he'd told me, and I felt tears begin to well in my eyes. Adrian was my rock, my clarity, as I was his. But even rocks could break if enough pressure was applied. One day, the darkness could push him too far, push him over the brink of insanity, and if that were to happen I didn't know if I would ever be able to get him back. The thought of losing Adrian was one I couldn't allow to even cross my mind.

I steeled myself and got out of Coal, Latte's replacement. Coal was a black Mazda SUV, and though he had some of the most advanced technology on offer, I missed Latte's character. Coal just wasn't the same.

"No offense," I told him flatly, closing the door and walking slowly to my dorm. I was in such a haze of exhaustion and worry, it took a lot of effort to turn on a pleasant attitude before opening the door to my dorm. When I did, I almost wished I'd left it closed and elected to sleep in the hall.

"Sydney," Zoe exclaimed, taking a deep breath, and standing from where she'd been sitting on her bed. "Did you get my messages? I called at least five times."

"No." I'd had my phone on silent. "Is everything alright?" I asked, growing concerned and snapping out of my haze.

"Kind of…" she said, her brow furrowing. "I was trying to tell you we have a whole bottle of toothpaste in the dresser draw."

"Oh," I said, forcing my face into neutrality. "I must've overlooked it."

She seemed to buy this until she looked to my empty hands. "Where's the new bottle you bought?" She eyed me suspiciously, thrumming her fingers idly at her side. I didn't know what my face looked like, but I imagined I gave myself away right then and there. Considering the company I'd kept – Adrian Ivashkov, Angeline Dawes, and even Marcus Finch, a fugitive – you would've thought I'd have learned how to lie on the spot by now. Yet, I found myself at a loss, standing there like a deer caught in the headlights. I couldn't invent wild stories like Adrian, obnoxiously deny things like Angeline, or charm my way out with pretty words like Marcus. I reconsidered on that last one. I'd actually used a little of Marcus's tactic when I'd seduced Ian, and though it had worked, I was pretty Zoe wouldn't get light-headed when I smiled at her.

"They were out of stock," I told her lamely, turning to set my purse on the dresser.

"_Out of toothpaste?"_ She asked skeptically, irritation flickering across her features.

Adrian would've had a highly embellished story here. He would've been on isle five in the drug store when, low and behold, three men in ski-masks jumped out and stole the entire stock of toothpaste. I, however, wasn't nearly as creative.

"Don't act like it's so unbelievable," I told her, giving her a smile. "There are a bunch of lazy teenagers our age stocking the shelves. They probably forgot to restock them. You know how the work ethic of our generation has gone downhill. Dad talks about it all of the time."

"So you're saying _all_ of their toothpaste was bought? They wouldn't have run out of one brand, let alone like ten."

You can do this, Sydney. "Well, it's not my fault," I told her awkwardly, bumping back into my bed and nearly losing my balance in the process. "If you have a problem, you should call the pharmacy." She turned bright red then, from anger, and I realized that this tactic wasn't one that was going to work on her.

"Why do you keep hiding things from me?" She snapped. "Can't you just tell me where you were?"

"I did," I insisted, guilt eating away at my insides in the process. There was no way I could tell her about Adrian, and there was no way she'd understand either. The smile on my face fell, and I gave her a hopeless look that I prayed showed her how sorry I was. It didn't work, however; she remained angry.

"I didn't want to believe him, but Dad was right," she said coolly. "You_ are_ becoming irresponsible."

I felt my own cheeks flush from anger, not at being called irresponsible but because she'd brought our father into this. Though petty on the surface, I knew the underlying meaning to her words and a sharp wave of fear cascaded over me. "Probably because you've been calling him behind my back," I told her, not bothering to hide the betrayal I still felt over that. "When he called to tell me about the divorce, he mentioned you'd expressed concerns about my conduct."

"Because I'm _worried_ about you," she said loftily, looking anywhere but at my eyes.

"Because he's filled your head with things that aren't true," I said, trying very, very, hard not to sound angry. "Because he's feeding you lies, just like he did to me." I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself. I reached out and caught hold of her hand. "Zoe, please," I begged. "Don't let him tear this family apart more than he already has. We have to stand together, you and me. Please?"

She jerked her hand back, leaving mine feeling extremely empty. She gave me a reproachful look that made my blood run cold. "Dad tells me what the Alchemists tell him. If you're saying he's a liar, then you're saying they're liars too," she said darkly. "And they _aren't._"

What could I say? Should I tell her that they weren't liars? If I did that, I was lying to her too, and wouldn't that make me just as bad as them? If I told her the truth though, I could lose her forever. Also, she was too young to go through what I was going through right now. I didn't want her to have to break her tattoo and constantly look over her shoulder and watch every move she made. Maybe if I kept working toward discovering more of the Alchemists' secrets, she wouldn't have to. I hung my head in resignation.

"Zoe, you're my sister," I told her sadly. "I love you," I said, shaking my head. "Shouldn't that be what matters, and nothing else?" Her brown eyes widened slightly, but her face remained hard. She said nothing and I went to go shower, a plan developing in the back of my mind. It would be risky, but after hearing her words tonight, it was something that had to be done. I texted my plan to Adrian on the love phone so that at least one person trustworthy would know where I'd be spending my Saturday.

That morning, I left Zoe a note, letting her know about my plans. I hated not to include her, but hoped she would understand, if not now, in time. Before I left the dorm, I watched her sleeping softly, and my chest ached. There she was, being the girl I used to be, the good, responsible, sister, while I was off setting a horrible example, breaking rules, and doing things that would've forced me into to exile or worse if my people were to find out.

When I stepped outside into the California morning, I feasted my eyes upon a sight that quite literally took my breath away. Adrian was leaning against the building holding two cups of coffee, the morning sun bringing out the chestnut and golden tints in his hair.  
"Wow," I said, stunned.

He chuckled and walked to hand me one of the coffees, careful not to show any gestures that could've been more than friendly. Amberwood thought we were brother and sister, after all. The last thing I needed was for my human classmates to think I was into incest. My life was complicated enough, and most of the school had already decided our family was weird. It probably had something to do with some of my "siblings" giving each other longing looks in the hallway, not to mention the time Angeline had asked her "cousin", Eddie, to the school dance.

"Thank you," I told him, taking a sip and letting the familiar drink soothe me. I eyed Adrian with relief, happy to see he was back to himself this morning. "I never expected you to drink coffee," I said with amusement.

"I read it was good for hangovers somewhere," he admitted with a shrug.

"Ah," I said with a smile. "That makes more sense, although I'm pretty sure it's not true." He appeared troubled, and I eyed him knowingly. "Adrian, I'll be fine. This is nothing."

He gave me an uneasy smile. "Really? Because it sounds pretty serious."

"It's not a high security facility I'm breaking into like last time."

"Yeah, I know. It's your boss's house."

He had a point, but I refused to back down. "I know, but I have to do this."

This didn't seem to comfort Adrian at all, but he nodded. "Just come back to me, okay? Send me a text on the love phone if anything goes wrong."

I grinned. "Are you going to come storming in the house?"

He tried to smile but his eyes were serious. "You know how I love to make an entrance."

I brushed my fingers across his as I walked past him. I felt his warm gaze follow me as we climbed into his mustang. When we got out onto the interstate, he pushed the speed limit, knowing I had to make my ten o'clock flight. There wasn't another one until four that afternoon. I kissed him goodbye when we arrived at the airport, resolved to return home safely.

I'd been contemplating this mission of sorts for a while; ever since Zoe had been tattooed. I'd laid the groundwork for it by sending a simple email to Stanton one day. In the email, I'd asked her if it would be possible for us to meet in person and discuss the mission. She'd responded that yes, a face to face meeting would be nice when I got the chance, and I'd insisted I come visit her this time so that she wasn't inconvenienced. I'd kept my eyes on the flight times recently, and after things had blown up with Zoe last night I'd called Stanton and told her I'd meet her at her house for lunch today. It was imperative I meet her at her house because she had files that I wanted to get my hands on.

Stanton, as my boss, would have copies of my disciplinary records on her computer. I wanted to take a look at mine to see where I stood, and to gain a better idea of how to behave and appear less suspicious. If it was my conduct the Alchemists were worried about, I would be much colder to the group in Palm Springs. If it was my irresponsibility, I'd have to, well, be more responsible. My double agent status depended on me being able to pull off the act. If I failed… the consequences would be drastic.

The flight from Palm Springs to Salt Lake City didn't take very long. When all was said and done, it took about two hours altogether. Stanton picked me up from the airport and we made small talk during the ride back to her house. There was an awkward tension hanging between us which was probably because of the way I'd blown up on her about a month ago. That was another reason I'd wanted to meet with her today. I wanted to apologize in person, as a way to prove how sorry I was. In reality I wasn't very sorry at all. I was simply sorry I'd seemed suspicious.

I couldn't help but think back to the last "secret mission" I'd been on as we drove to her house. I also couldn't help but wonder how Marcus and his Merry Men, the one's I'd completed the mission for, were doing. I might've elected not to go to Mexico with them but it hadn't been out of malice, only out of choosing a different path. Though I firmly believed Marcus had his heart in the right place, his rebellion wasn't really going anywhere. He seemed more concerned about having a good time than taking any action. He'd always wanted to hang out and chat just as much as he'd wanted to change the world. He probably would've been upset with me if he knew what I was doing right now though as he was a firm believer in leaving the Alchemists as soon as your tattoo was broken. Even though I saw the reasoning behind his logic, I couldn't just walk away when I had the opportunity to find out more of the Alchemists' dark secrets at my fingertips.

And when we pulled into the Stanton's driveway, that was precisely what I was determined to do. I'd worn typical Alchemist attire for the luncheon: a nice black skirt with a white blouse; my heels clicking noisily on the pavement as we walked to the front door. Her house was gorgeous and upper-class like most Alchemists. It reminded me of the houses I'd seen in the rich neighborhoods of Palm Springs.

"I hope you don't mind company," Stanton said.

I actually really, really, minded it, but I just smiled keeping the rest of my emotions in check. "Of course not."  
"My good friend, Dale Hawthorne, is going to join us for lunch," she said matter-a-factly. It was a miracle my mouth didn't drop open right then and there. I clenched my fists at my sides and made sure I kept my expression blank. Not only was Dale Hawthorne extremely high up, but he was also the man I'd recently seen getting cozy with the chief of a group of vampire hunters, Master Jameson.

"It'll be a pleasure to meet him, ma'am," I said through gritted teeth. I was actually quite thrilled at the prospect, but also rather nervous. This was the kind of thing I would've liked to be able to plan for. If I'd had time to plan, I probably could've come up with some questions to ask him to get more information on his relationship with Master Jameson.

"He's quite excited to meet you," Stanton said. "Make sure you make a good first impression. He's an important leader."

Stanton opened the door, and led me through her house to the dining room. The hardwood floors were freshly polished, and everything was neat and organized. The house felt cold and unlived in, even though I knew she lived here obviously. My heart began to pond as we got closer and closer to where I knew Dale Hawthorne was waiting. Stanton and I entered the dining room, and Hawthorne rose from his chair.

"Ah, the famous Sydney Sage," he said, looking delighted. "So great to finally meet you." He smiled, but it wasn't warm or friendly. He looked happy, but his gray eyes were also narrowed in a way that made me wary. I'd always heard it was possible to see evil in someone's eyes if you looked closely enough but I'd never believed it to be true. However, looking at the man in front of me, I reconsidered. I shook his hand, swallowing any fear or discomfort I felt.

"Always a pleasure to meet a friend of Stanton's," I said politely.

"I'm sure," he said, casting her a fond look. We moved to take a seat at the table, Stanton at the head and Hawthorne and I across from each other. The lunch laid out in front of us was typical of Alchemists. Boring and not very well seasoned. A cardboard box might've had more seasoning than the grilled chicken.

"So, Sydney," Stanton began, "I trust your mission is going well."

"It's going flawlessly," I told her. "Thank you so much for sending Zoe and the extra guardian. It has made me feel so much more comfortable."

Stanton gave a curt nod, and I was disturbed to find Hawthorne studying me carefully. It was like he was looking for something. I kept my attention focused on my food, trying to look as comfortable as possible. "Stanton has told me about all of the problems you've run into while keeping the Dragomir girl safe," he said. "You have really handled them well."

I met his gray eyes with a fierce look. "Well, it is my job. I wouldn't want anyone to try to harm her on my watch. It's my duty to the Alchemists to keep her safe." I tried to convey a silent message to him.

He chuckled darkly at this. "It most certainly is. It's admirable, your dedication that is. That's a quality we look for in our leaders, you know."

"Yes, sir."

"Keep your head on your shoulders girl. You have potential." He gave me another one of those chilling smiles. "It's easy to lose your head on the way up. I knew a kid just like you once. He had all of the right stuff to make it to the top. He was brilliant, charming, dedicated, and he came from a good family. Isn't that right Donna?" He looked to Stanton who had been staring straight ahead, her face indifferent.

"Oh yes," she agreed sternly.

"What happened?" I asked cautiously.

Hawthorne shook his head dramatically. "Kid lost his way. He started getting close to them. He started questioning us. He destroyed himself." Hawthorne tsked sadly. "It was such a shame, such a loss." He studied me again, like he could see right through me. "Don't you let that be you."

"Don't worry," I said, more boldly than I felt. "I know who the enemy is," I told him darkly, hoping he heard the hidden meaning in my words. He gave me a hardened smile and the three of us made small talk for the rest of lunch. I'd caught sight of Stanton's study down the hall as we'd walked in. It appeared to be across from the bathroom, and out of sight from where we were sitting. I wasn't going to get a better opportunity than I had now, and I stood up.

"Do you mind if I excuse myself to the restroom?" I asked Stanton. "I'm not feeling very well." My words were probably pretty convincing. I really wasn't feeling well; being in the same room as Dale Hawthorne really was beginning to make me physically sick.

Stanton nodded and gave me directions to the restroom which was across from her study, just as I'd hoped. I took a deep breath and quietly pushed the door open, knowing I didn't have much time. A sleek computer sat on a desk against the far wall of the room and a leather chair was pushed up under the desk. The wooden coffee table in the center of the room was nicely polished, as were the wooden book shelves which lined almost all four walls. I stood there for a moment, taking in the scene.

My eyes fell on a file cabinet against a far wall. This of course was locked with a key I was sure Stanton kept on her at all times. She probably even slept with it, however, this didn't deter me. While reading through some of Ms. Terwilliger's spell books recently, I'd come across a simple unlocking incantation. I placed my gloved hand on the lock and muttered the simple spell, satisfied when I heard the lock click.

I sifted through the different files, few of them catching my attention. Some folders were simply labeled to contain legal documents like birth certificates, or social security numbers. Some seemed a bit more promising, with names like floor plans, emergency plans etcetera but still, nothing monumental. Finally, I found the folder I needed.

It was conveniently labeled "Disciplinary Records." A wave of unease rolled over me. These were the records Marcus had mentioned, and they really did exist. I pulled out the Sage file, and sat it down on her desk. Another spell I'd worked on recently was a replication spell. It took a lot of energy, but it might've been more believable if I walked back into the dining room looking lightheaded. Maybe then they would really believe I'd gotten sick. I whispered the Italian incantation, placing my hand on the folder and closing my eyes to concentrate. I felt the magic sweep me up into its high and then, just as quickly drop me back down. Swaying on my feet, I placed the original copies back in Stanton's file cabinet just as they were. I stuffed the replicates into my purse, crossing my fingers that I really had pulled this off.

I re-entered the dining room, and Stanton had the decency to look worried.

"Ms. Sage, are you alright?"

"I'm much better now," I told her truthfully, refusing to meet Dale Hawthorne's eyes.

On the flight back to Palm Springs, fueled by adrenaline and a fresh cup of coffee, I sat down in my seat with my files, ready to search for answers. I pulled out each of the documents, deciding I'd start from the back. Upon opening the first file, I nearly dropped it. This disciplinary record had to be the worst I'd ever seen. There was red ink all over it, indicating each time the person had messed up. I was too horrified by the staggering amount of marks to read any of the specific offenses. Surely . . . surely this wasn't mine. My stomach felt queasy and the world around me swam. My hands trembled as I glanced to the top and read the name printed.

_Marcus Sage._

If I hadn't been thoroughly confused before, I was now. Who was Marcus Sage? Did I have a cousin my father hadn't mentioned? I knew that my father had a brother, but my uncle had never been around very much. My father had said he resented him for getting the Alchemist position in the family. I'd bought the story originally, but now, I had to wonder. And there was another thing about the name that struck me. I knew a Marcus, obviously, one that would've had a considerably bad disciplinary record. But his last name was Finch, not Sage…

Intrigued, I started to read through the different offenses: _Withholding Information from a Superior, Questionable Conduct with a Moroi_, _Unnecessary Interaction with a Moroi_, _Disorderly Conduct with a Superior_, _Refusal to Follow Orders, Inappropriate Conduct with a Moroi, Burglary and Theft_, _Treason._

I was too frightened to feel any sort of disdain for Marcus Sage's offenses. After all . . . I was pretty sure I was guilty of, well . . . all of them. I flipped to the next page, and again I nearly dropped the folder in shock. It was a picture of Marcus Sage, and it became clear to me that he was the same Marcus I already knew. This picture of him was taken before he'd gone rogue, and it wasn't only the lily on his cheek that gave that away. It was the neatness of his hair, the sharpness of his clothes, and there was just something . . . different. Looking at him here, I would've said he looked like a nice young man, the kind fathers would want their daughters to date. He looked like someone that was going to go far in life, someone that was destined to do great things for the Alchemists. This Marcus bore very little resemblance to the reckless, elusive rogue I'd come to associate with his name.

But it wasn't his drastically different appearance that had nearly made me drop the picture. It was the man standing next to him: My father.

Marcus had known my father? It stood to reason since they could've been related, but the thought still shocked me. My father looked like a different man in this picture. His dark blonde hair had no gray, and his smile was genuine. The only time I'd ever seen him smile like that was when he was around Keith Darnell, a young Alchemist he'd once grown to regard as the son he'd never had. My father had always wanted a boy, and seemed to resent me and my sisters because of this. Had he had the same kind of relationship with Marcus as he had with Keith? If so, it seemed like I would've met Marcus before now. Keith had been over at my house all the time, much to my disgust.

None of this made any sense, and something about it alarmed me. I hadn't returned home with the comfort I'd sought. Instead, I'd returned home more uneasy than ever.

* * *

**Hang in there. I've been working on this plot since I first started plotting the story. I'm not crazy, I swear, haha. Well, maybe a little, but still. This has been plotted out in my outline. It's going somewhere.**

**As always, a big thank you to my lovely beta and to you guys for reading and you reviewing this. :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Five**

**Adrian**

Angeline rolled the dice, or should I say threw them. A few minutes ago she'd landed on Park Place, which I'd had three hotels on. She had about five dollars left after paying me, and was taking out her anger on the dice. This particular roll landed her in jail.

"Is there an option to break out?" She asked.

The table was silent for a minute. "No," Eddie, Jill, and I finally said in unison.

"This game makes no sense," she told us, as though this was obvious. "Why do we even play it?"

"Don't blame the game for your own poor skills," I told her, taking the dice to roll. I landed on Boardwalk, and promptly bought it. Eddie and Jill eyed the board with resignation.

"We might as well give it up now," Eddie said wearily, holding up the only twenty he had left.

"Worried that I'm going to kick your ass, Castile?"

He rolled his eyes. "Only at monopoly," he said, and he had a point. In any other areas – well, aside from charm and good looks – I was sure to get my ass handed to me.

"We should keep playing though," Jill said, her voice taking on a sugary sweetness. "I mean, Neil has a chance to win." She said the name Neil like he was a saviour, sent to bring us all salvation. Angeline leaned across the table to hand Neil the dice, giving him a rather flirty smile while doing so. I could see Eddie tense from the corner of my eye as he watched the girls insist Neil play me one on one, but only because I was paying close attention to his reaction. To anyone else, he would've appeared just as stoic as usual. I leaned in beside his ear.

"This is probably the part where he tells us some epic tale about how he turned a monopoly board into a knife when he was stranded in the Amazon."

"Why would he have a monopoly board in the Amazon?" Eddie asked quietly.

"Why wouldn't he?" I asked simply. Eddie rarely laughed at my jokes, but every now and then he would smile. This wasn't one of those times. All I got was a shake of the head, and I resisted the urge to tell him to go for Jill. Sydney might've told me in confidence, but it was no secret I could read auras. I could've easily claimed I'd noticed his aura flare when he looked at her.

There was knock on my door, that made both Neil and Eddie jump. "I doubt Moroi assassins knock," I told the two of them with an eye-roll, getting up to answer the door. When I saw who it was, I grinned, my shoulders sagging in relief. We were out of view from the kitchen, so I pushed Sydney against the wall giving her a rough, passionate kiss. She responded instantly, knotting a hand in my hair and kissing me with just as much intensity.

"Who is it?" Eddie called from the kitchen.

Far too quickly, she pulled back, her eyes seeming to tease and beckon me. We walked into the kitchen and I gestured to her.

"Don't worry, guardians," I said lazily. "Sage comes in peace." Sydney said she was going to grab a drink, but she met my eyes sending me a silent message that seemed to say "we need to talk." I followed her into the kitchen teasing her loudly about her dress clothe so that no one would get the idea I was following for any other reason than to pester her.

"Did everything go okay?" I asked quietly when we were out of view.

She grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and turned to face me, worry lining her face. "I'm not really sure. I got the files without trouble and my record isn't nearly as bad as I was afraid of."

"But…" I prompted, though I was relieved to hear the news about her record.

She tucked some of her golden hair behind her ears. "I found some stuff that doesn't make any sense. Also, I had to sit across from Dale Hawthorne."

"The man from the video?" I asked in disbelief. He was the man that had quite possibly given up Jill's location to the Warriors of Light. He was far from nice company, and the thought of Sydney having to endure lunch with him was not one I cared to entertain.

She nodded gravely, her amber eyes cool. "Yes, him."

"What did you find that doesn't make sense?" I asked. Her face had a hard look, a look she forced when something was really bothering her.

"I-" she began, but Jill came into the kitchen then, causing us both to jump.

"I know how you guys can get some time alone," she said, obviously having sensed the seriousness of the situation from the bond. "Go pick up some Chinese takeout; We're starved."

"Brilliant scheme, Jailbait," I told her, leaning forward to ruffle her hair. She ducked, grinning, and turned to leave the kitchen. "I'll tell them where you guys are going," she called over her shoulder.

When Sydney and I stepped out of my apartment, out of the enclosed space with everyone watching us, I released a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding. We climbed into the Ivashkinator and she leaned her head on my shoulder as I drove. She began to give me a run-down of the mission she'd accomplished earlier. Dale Hawthorne sounded exactly like the malicious asshole I'd envisioned to begin with and Stanton being his friend deeply concerned me. I listened to the way Sydney had precariously managed to get her hands on those records, and tried not to let it bother me. She'd been careful.

_This time,_ some foreboding voice inside of my head whispered.

We headed inside to order the Chinese takeout, and then took a seat on a bench outside to wait for it. Sydney took a deep breath and pulled the files she'd stolen out of her purse.

"You ready for this?" She asked me, looking hesitant. "I don't know. Maybe you've got an explanation I haven't thought of because I'm all out for ideas."

The first thing she handed me was a photograph. I squinted at it for a moment, as though that would help me decipher it better. The younger guy on the right looked familiar. I felt my eyes widen and I stared at Sydney incredulously.

"Marcus used to brush his hair?" I asked, in mock surprise. When she didn't smile, I shrugged. "He looks a little younger in this. The lily's still on his cheek," I mused. "Why'd you steal a picture of him, Sage? You aren't going to hang it on your wall, are you?"

She gave me a stern look. "No way. And I didn't steal it on purpose. It was in my family's files. But that's not what's so important. Do you know who the man next to him is?"

I studied the blonde man beside him in the picture with his arm around him and made the most logical guess possible. "Marcus's father?" I asked.

"_My_ father," she said pointedly.

I saw it then…the resemblance. They both had the same blonde hair, the same tanned skin. Another thing I noticed was that in this picture her dad didn't look like the cold asshole Sydney described to me on numerous occasions. "Why does your Dad have his arm around Marcus?" I asked her.

She shook her head, her brow furrowing. "I have no idea. I didn't know they knew each other. And it gets weirder," she said, reaching into her purse once again. "Read the name at the top of this disciplinary record. Marcus _Sage_, not Marcus Finch."

I took the paper from her and did as she'd requested, and sure enough there was the cursed name. I turned my attention back to her, speechless. "Is he…" It took me a little bit to get my next words out, "_related _to you?" I had some unlikeable family members myself – a lot, actually – but surely Sydney wasn't related to _Marcus. That was impossible._

She shrugged, her eyes narrowed. "My Dad has one brother, but I didn't think he was into Alchemist work. Even if he was… it seems like I would've met Marcus before somehow. Keith was over at my house all the time because my father saw him as the son he never had," she grumbled. "I texted Marcus a while ago and told him that when he got back in town, we needed to talk."

I eyed the picture of Marcus and Jared Sage a little more closely. There was something about it that left me not feeling right. I tilted my head to the side, as though that would help me notice something different. Sydney shifted to pull her legs up to her in my periphery, her golden locks falling forward as she did so. I looked from the picture to her, astounded. The hair, I realized. Jared, Sydney, and Marcus all had the exact same shade of dark gold hair. I examined Marcus's profile more carefully, and I was startled to notice similarities there too. The only sound difference was the eyes. Thankfully, Marcus didn't share her golden color.

"What is it?" Sydney asked hopefully. "Did you think of something?" She was desperate for an answer. Sydney Katherine Sage didn't like to feel confused.

"No," I said, partly truthfully. I could see very clearly that she, Marcus, and Jared were definitely related, but I couldn't begin to explain how she had no memory of her cousin or…whatever he was, not when her father was as close to him as he appeared in this picture. There was only one option I could think of. "Except…"

"Yes?" She prompted impatiently.

I tried to say my next words as gently as possible. "What if your parents got divorced because your father had an affair?" It wouldn't be the first time I'd seen it happen. Affairs were one of the biggest reasons marriages failed.

"Oh my God," she breathed, her eyes widening in horror. "I've got to call my mom," she said, growing determined. I knew she'd been putting off the call after learning that her mother had lied about the witchcraft. Sydney rested a shaky hand on my shoulder then. "I'll put her on speaker. Don't say anything."

I reached up to clasp her hand in a feeble attempt to steady it. "Are you sure you want me to hear this?"

She gave a soft chuckle, but there was a sadness to the sound that broke my heart. "I'm going to repeat everything to you later anyway," she said, her voice quiet. I wrapped an arm around her and drew her close as she made the call.

Her mother answered after only a couple of rings. "Sydney?" She asked.

"Hey, Mom," Sydney said, taking a deep breath.

"Thank goodness you finally called me back. I was getting worried." Her mother's voice was about like I'd expected. It was strong and clear, just like Sydney had always described her.

"Dad called and told me about the divorce."

"Oh my God," her mother gasped, this having clearly shocked her. "He told me he was flying out to tell you! That was the only reason I agreed to let him be the one to do it because he'd promised to do it in person."

"Oh," Sydney said coolly. "So it's true then? You guys are splitting up now? You couldn't wait until Zoe was 18?"

I heard Sydney's mom exhale on the other end of the line. "Honey, I am going to do everything I can to do to get custody. You know I can be persuasive when the time demands it." I stifled a chuckle at this, her determined tone sounding so much like Sydney.

"Oh, that's even better," Sydney said sharply. "Zoe's life hasn't been thrown into enough upheaval; let's add an ugly custody battle to make sure the job gets done right." I tried not to flinch at her words. They were so bitter and so unlike her. I ran a hand soothingly through her hair, knowing nothing else I could do.

Her mom was silent for a few moments. "Sydney, I'm sorry, but I can't let him destroy this family any more than he already has. Zoe's an Alchemist now, as you know. I'm ashamed it's gotten to this point."

"Why leave him now though? Why not, I don't know, as soon as you saw the way he treated everyone?" Sydney demanded, and I could almost hear what she was really thinking in the way her voice trembled. _Why didn't you leave him for me? Why didn't you walk away to save _me?

"I know you don't believe me," her mother said more quietly, "but he wasn't always like this. He used to be a better man."

"That's not really saying much," Sydney snapped, and as the sun hit her face, I noticed the tears shimmering in her eyes. I planted a kiss on her forehead, keeping my arm around her protectively. What I was protecting her from…well, I wasn't really sure.

"Sydney, what can I do?" Her mother asked, and there was true desperation in her voice, the kind I didn't hear often from my mother. Daniella Ivashkov wasn't a _bad _mother per-say, she'd just never seemed all that interested in me; she'd never seemed to understand me.

"You can tell me the truth," Sydney said sternly. "You can tell me why you and Dad got are getting divorced, and I don't want a vague 'she can't let go of the past' answer like he gave me."

The silence on the other end of the line was somehow deafening. "Your father is not the man I married, Sydney, and I'm tired of waiting for him to change back into who he was."

"Why isn't he the same man?" Sydney demanded. "Has there been an affair involved or something?" I was just as tense as Sydney, as we waited for her answer.

"What?" Her mother inquired, sounding absolutely floored. "No, no. He didn't cheat, and neither did I."

I thought Sydney might push for more information, but she seemed tired of asking questions for now. She looked far more tired than I'd ever seen her, and I'd seen her on the verge of passing out after magically burning down a house. Sydney bid her mother goodbye and closed her phone, staring blankly ahead and refusing to meet my eyes.

"Sydney," I said, "everything's going to be okay."

She tilted her head to peer at me and the look in her eyes tore me apart. "How can you be so sure? We don't know even know what 'everything' is yet," she said, so dejected… so hopeless. It was so wrong to see her this way, to see her look even remotely like she might give up.

"I'm not sure," I admitted. "But I know that both of us have made it through too many things to give up now."

She watched me silently, but the love I saw in her eyes spoke a thousand words. It always astounded me to see her look at me that way. Having lived a life where not many people had given me a chance, seeing someone as good and as divine as Sydney regard me with the kind of love she did…it was incredible.

"We should probably get the takeout before they do away with our order," I said.

She nodded, and we retrieved our order, heading back to the Ivashkinator.

"I hope the food isn't too cold," Sydney worried as we rode.

"Me too. I don't have any desire to teach Angeline how to use a microwave again. She just hits the popcorn button for everything it seems."

Sydney sighed in exasperation at this but didn't speak for most of the ride home, lost in her own troubled thoughts. Mine might not have been as troubled as hers, but I was definitely worried. She spoke the truth when she'd said things didn't make sense. Somewhere in Mexico drinking margaritas there was another Sage. A family member that looked strangely like Sydney's father's side of the family, that wasn't the spawn of some affair… and one that Sydney had no memory of.

"If he was my cousin," Sydney said, her thoughts obviously on the same track as mine, "wouldn't I have heard something? My father would've disowned his brother if his nephew betrayed the Alchemists like that."

"Did Marcus ever say anything about his family?"

She frowned. "He mentioned playing skee ball when he was younger. He and his dad used to go to carnivals."

"Heart-warming," I muttered, pulling into the apartment complex. "Well, what else do you know about him?"

Sydney opened her mouth to speak, but paused, her face slowly growing more and troubled. "I…not much at all really."

Red flag if there ever was one, I thought. She'd spent a fair amount of time with Marcus when he'd been in town, yet she'd hardly learned anything about him personally. It made me strangely uneasy. I'd never liked him, but I'd always thought Sydney had seen something good in him, so I'd tried to keep my mouth shut for the most part just to win points with her.

Also, as much as I hated to admit it, I'd been a little jealous of the guy, and really, why wouldn't I have been? When he'd started trying to "help" her like he had, I'd been worried he was going to steal her away from me because of what he represented. I was living proof that women liked men who broke the rules, and he'd had that down. He'd been human too and they'd both probably had similar backgrounds, well, more similar than Sydney and I. I'd had every reason to be worried and yet, here she sat. There'd been no competition for her interests, but even if there had, something told me she still would've chosen me. I gave her a fond look and brushed my hand across hers, helping her carry the food into the apartment.

Eddie answered the door, Jill peeking her head out from behind his shoulder. Sydney surprised me when she handed the food to Eddie and didn't follow us inside.

"What's the hold up, Sage?"

She looked down and then back up, smiling, though it didn't touch her eyes. "As much as I'd like to stay I have to go back to Zoe. It's bad enough I've had to leave her as long as I have."

"We asked her to come," Eddie said.

"She didn't want too," Jill admitted. "She said it wasn't part of her job to hang out with us."

Sydney sighed. "Well, thanks for inviting her anyway." She told us goodbye, and then left. I stood by the window, sad to see her go. I hoped Zoe would be pleasant to her when she got back to Amberwood, but somehow I doubted it. I didn't have any of siblings of my own, but sometimes I got the feeling Zoe was extremely jealous of Sydney. I got the feeling she saw Sydney as this flawless know-it-all, way-better-Alchemist, older sister. Zoe seemed to compare herself to Sydney, which was probably what most of their problems were rooted in.

She and Sydney weren't very much alike, something I'd noticed before with siblings. Some siblings I'd known had been clones of one another…and Sydney and Zoe…well, they didn't seem to be so lucky. Some instinct told me they might've been a lot more similar at some point, but Jared Sage had driven them apart. Zoe seemed to be controlled by him, while Sydney had managed to fight her way out of his grasp. I understood how the poor girl felt, and I would've done what I could've to help, if she wouldn't be afraid I'd suck her blood in the process.

I joined the others in the kitchen, and watched irritably as Jill and Angeline followed Neil into the living room to eat. I was left standing with Eddie, his steely guardian gaze watching them.

"Sickening isn't it?" I asked carefully.

"They each have the right to like who they want to," Eddie responded.

I rolled my eyes. "You make it sound like they're lucky you're granting such a privilege. I wasn't aware this family was under Castile Law."

Eddie grabbed his Chinese food, and took a seat at the opposite side of the table where he could easily see into the living room and keep an eye on everything. I pulled out the chair across from him and as I took the first bite of the Chinese food, I realized it had gotten pretty cold.

"Neil is a highly qualified guardian," Eddie said stonily. "They sent him because Sydney expressed concerns about Jill's safety."

"No one's going to get to her while you're around," I said. "Not even to her heart," I added slyly.

He snapped his head toward me with such swiftness I nearly jumped. "What do you mean by that?" He asked, studying me suspiciously.

"Well, I don't mean it in the literal sense," I said, giving him an innocent look and taking another bite of my Chinese.

"Don't play games with me, Adrian," he said sternly.

I stifled a laugh at his seriousness. "You're crazy about her and she's crazy about you."

Eddie's mouth dropped open and he looked completely floored. "I-what? No. That's not true." He quickly reformed his mortified expression into a look of neutrality.

"I can read auras, you know. I'm not as unobservant as I seem."

Eddie shook his head. "If you say anything-"

"Oh, relax," I said, waving a hand down. "I've known for months and I haven't said anything until now. The only reason I am saying something is because you're almost as socially challenged as Sydney."

"_Socially challenged?"_ He asked, giving me a dry look. "Really?"

"The only reason Jill's all over Neil is because she's hoping to get some sort of reaction out of you. Get jealous, dammit. It's not that hard." I stood up from the table and tossed what was left of my takeout in the garbage. "Show her that you care," I told him. "It'd make her day."

* * *

**Slowly pushing forward! I hope that you guys enjoyed this chapter and are prepared for some heartbreak to come. Chapter 8 is the true beginning of the downward spiral, so we've got a little bit to go, but not long. As always, I love reading each and every one of your reviews! **


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 6**

**Sydney**

When I returned to my dorm, Zoe was sprawled across her bed, books surrounding her on the covers. I gave her an uneasy smile and set my purse down on my bed, careful to make sure it was completely closed.

"Sorry I'm a little late," I told her. "I caught a later flight than I intended."

She flipped through the pages of a book absentmindedly. "I don't suppose I could've come with you to have lunch with _our _boss?"

"Zoe," I said carefully, "Stanton requested that just I go." It was a small lie but I still felt guilty. "She and I both trusted you enough to handle things on your own while I was away. It was a compliment," I told her earnestly.

She studied me for a moment and, though she didn't respond, she no longer seemed angry. I tried to hide the feeling of joy her friendlier behavior gave me, but I failed, and for a few hours I let myself forget my troubles. We decided to go to the library and finish any homework that we had left to complete, and even though it wasn't playing board games with the gang, it was strangely satisfying. Our gang here might've felt like my family, but Zoe was the real thing. There was a different intensity to our connection; to our loyalty to one another.

"Public school isn't nearly as hard as I thought it'd be," she said, sliding her completed math homework to the side.

"You mean the academics or fitting in?" I asked with a smile. Zoe was extremely smart, and while the school work had been a breeze, the high school hierarchy had probably been a little more puzzling for her. I wasn't sure if it had been though, as she'd never said anything about it to me. Sometimes I got the feeling that her inability to open up to me wasn't because she disapproved of me, but because I was older. She wanted to seem strong in front of me which rather was pointless; I already thought she was incredibly strong.

"Both," she replied. "Neither have been hard at all. Dad did a good job preparing us."

"Please," I said before I could help myself. "We would've done well even if he hadn't trained us the way he did." I worked hard to keep my tone light and playful.

"I guess," Zoe said. "It's going to be weird once this assignment is over and custody is split. I don't want to hurt Mom's feelings."

I gave her a curious look. "How would you be hurting Mom's feelings?"

"By choosing to live with Dad."

"What?" I asked, a bit louder than I'd intended. I could feel the gaze of other patrons in the library giving me frustrated looks. "Why on earth would you do that?"

"Because he has the most experience as an Alchemist…" she said, as though she didn't quite understand the reason for my surprise.

My head was spinning and all of the joy I'd felt previously, vanished. I stared at Zoe in shock and shook my head. "Most courts put children with their mother," I said, almost to reassure myself. "Not that you're a child," I added, rethinking my words. "But you are legally."

"The Alchemists already told me they'd see to it Dad got custody… that they had connections."

My shock immediately turned into rage. "They have no right to interfere in personal affairs like that! This is a family matter; it's not their place!" My voice was far too loud for a library at this point, and a group of kids nearby tuned into listen.

"Don't be so loud," Zoe hissed, embarrassed by the attention I'd drawn. "Of course it's their place," she said, her brow furrowing further. She looked like she thought I was crazy. "And does it really matter? It's what I want."

"Really?" I demanded in an angry whisper. "Because last time I checked, you weren't Dad's biggest fan. It sounds a lot more like what the _Alchemists _want, not what you want."

"I didn't say I was his biggest fan," she told me calmly. "But I admire his dedication and work for the Alchemists' cause."

I wanted to rip my hair out or reach across the table and shake some sense into her. "But he's a … a _jerk._" I couldn't find a strong enough word to describe my father that wasn't a profanity. "He's manipulative and controlling, Zoe, and in the worst way. It doesn't matter whether or not he's a good Alchemist; he's a bad person." My words shocked even me, but this situation warranted me to say things that I usually kept to myself.

She shook her head at me. "I'm not doing this because I like Dad. I'm doing it because it's what's best as far as my career goes." She frowned then. "It's no different than when you helped that dhampir in hopes to get a promotion. It's a lot less extreme, really."

My cheeks burned from both embarrassment and fury. "It's _completely_ different!" I insisted. "I – I won't let you do it," I said sternly, though I knew my words were hopeless.

Zoe suddenly stood and gathered up her books, her own anger rising. "You don't 'let' me do anything," she said furiously. "Just because you're older and you've been doing this longer, doesn't mean you get to make my decisions for me."

"But they aren't _your_ decisions, Zoe. They're the Alchemists. Can't you see that?"

She ran her eyes over me and gave me an almost disgusted look. She'd never looked at me in such a way, and I nearly cringed. "Do you even hear yourself? What is _wrong_ with you?" Her words were icy and detached, and they cut me so, so, deeply, for reasons I couldn't exactly explain. I watched her walk away, and remained frozen in my chair. Half of the library had turned their attention to our argument, and though I was sure they hadn't heard my comments about the Alchemists, they'd certainly gotten the sense our "family" wasn't nearly as functional as it seemed.

I turned to a couple of girls behind me, who were ogling shamelessly. "Can I help you?" I asked coolly. They said nothing, but turned their attention back to their books. As I walked away, I was sure I heard them muttering things along the lines of, "she's finally lost it" and "knew it had to happen eventually."

The only reason I managed to get some sleep that night was because of how exhausted I was after such a busy day. The following morning, I woke up before Zoe and wasted no time in getting out of the small dorm. I joined Jill, Eddie, Angeline, and Neil for their morning training session, hoping it would help me take my mind off of everything. I kept the love phone with me, and I found comfort in texting Adrian about things that had nothing to do with my fight with Zoe or the information I'd found yesterday. His witty quips always helped me feel better and I longed to see him, although I knew it would be too risky to sneak out again today.

Once training was over and Jill and Angeline had successfully managed to irritate Eddie and I to no end with their constant flirting with Neil, I decided to head back to my dorm, having no other option. Hopefully Zoe wouldn't want to talk, as I was in no mood to argue. I made my way across central campus, nearing the girl's dormitory when Jill tugged at my arm.

"Do you hear that?" Jill asked.

"Angeline complaining about homework she has yet to complete?" I asked, shooting Angeline a look. Eddie snorted and Jill smiled.

"No," Jill said. "A guitar…"

I listened carefully, and finally, I nodded. Somewhere nearby, someone was playing some sort Spanish-styled song. A few hundred feet in front of us, I caught sight of a group of girls gathered around a palm tree. Unless the girls had suddenly become intrigued with plants of the Arecaceae family, I was pretty sure it wasn't the palm tree they were interested in. As we grew closer to the entourage, I thought a guy sitting underneath it, the source of the noise resonating from the guitar in his hands.

"Oh God," I murmured. "I'll see you guys, later, okay?" I told the gang. They nodded, and I could feel Jill's eyes follow me as I treaded over to the group of girls. They were packed so tightly together, I nearly had to barge through them to get the guitar player's attention.

When he did notice me, Marcus looked up at me and grinned. His tattoo was completely covered. "Hey, gorgeous."

If any of the girls had disliked me before, they hated me now. "Hello, _Dave_. I was just about to head out to get some coffee. Join me?" It was a ridiculous request, really, but I wanted to get off campus for a while. Also, I had quite a few questions to ask him and if I was his ride home, it'd be harder for him to bolt.

My invitation seemed to excite him, and he agreed, pushing through the girls to join me.

"I assume you got my text?" I asked him as we walked toward Coal.

"The one that said we needed to talk? Yeah, I got it." He didn't sound uneasy in the slightest, which was somehow reassuring and irritating at the same time. His easy-going nature could be both calming and exhausting; it just depended on the situation. When we got into Coal, I looked over to him.

Marcus was an attractive guy, there was no denying it. He had chin-length blonde hair, and bright blue eyes. Most girls I'd met sort of fell in love with him upon sight. My friend Julia had once insisted that I must've had the urge to rip his clothes off, however I had no desire to do any such thing, which she had seemed to think was really weird. Maybe it was. But then again, she wasn't dating Adrian Ivashkov. If she had been, she might not have thought about ripping Marcus's clothes off either.

"How was Mexico?" I asked, stifling an eye-roll at his fresh tan.

"Great," he said, giving me one of his movie star smiles. "Would've been better if you'd come, though." He was still smiling, but suddenly the car felt a little tense. I had bailed on him last second at the train station and, although I didn't regret my decision not to go to Mexico, I felt a little bad at how I'd gone about letting him down. Though I'd had no other choice because of how late I'd made my decision to stay, I'd still, well, ditched him.

An awkward silence hung between us for a moment, and Marcus filled it. "What did you want to talk about?" He asked, leaning back in his seat, looking too relaxed for the situation. If he even dared put his feet up on the dash, I was going to kick him out in the middle of the highway. "Something to do with your tattoo?" He prompted conversationally.

"No," I answered automatically, pulling Coal into Spencer's, the local coffee shop. "I'll talk to you about it when we get inside."

He studied me carefully for a moment. "You're being really vague, you know. I don't usually let people get away with that."

"Irritating, isn't it?" I asked pointedly, climbing out of the car. He followed me and went on to explain how his answers weren't nearly as vague as my questions and that I was wrong to imply that they were. I only heard about half of his rant, as in my mind I was running over different ways to approach this conversation ahead of me. I sent Adrian a text to let him know what I was up to.

"Sydney, what do you want?" Marcus nudged me, and I dragged my eyes away from my phone. The barista was eyeing me impatiently.

"Skinny vanilla latte," I responded quickly. Marcus shook his head at my coffee choice, which was a more dangerous thing to do than he realized. He led the way to a table in the back and sat down before I could object.

"What?" He asked giving me a puzzled look. "Is the seat not clean enough or something?"

My objection to his seating choice had nothing to do with hygiene and but everything to do with the guy seated at the table just behind us. Brayden Cartwright, my ex-boyfriend, was apparently taking his lunch break. He was faced away from us at least, and that was the only reason I was able to force myself to take a seat across from Marcus.

"Are you okay?" Marcus asked, giving me a wary look.

"Fine," I told him, and then I shook my head. Why was I lying? "I used to date the guy behind us," I whispered, leaning in.

Marcus turned his head completely around and I resisted to urge to kick his foot under the table. When he turned to face me again, he appeared to be stifling laughter. "_That_ guy? Oh come on. You can do better than him." Marcus gave me a level look. "_That _guy better not be the one you told me you were in love with."

I felt myself flush. "No. I said I _used_ to date him. And even if it was him, who I love wouldn't be any of your business."

Marcus paid no attention to my words and instead, turned his head to Brayden again, leaning closer, like he was trying to hear something. "He's muttering to himself, even though he's got headphones in."

"Maybe he's singing to himself," I said, growing crosser by the minute. I hadn't expected Marcus to make such a big deal out of this.

"No, no. He's definitely talking and before you suggest it, I _know_ he doesn't listen to rap."

"Marcus," I hissed. "Just turn around."

He waited a few more moments, and then leaned so far over it was a wonder Brayden didn't sense him. Satisfied with whatever he'd seen on Brayden's table, Marcus turned his back to me, and rested his head on our table, muffling laughter. After he'd gotten control of himself, Marcus looked back up at me, still chuckling.

"Your ex-boyfriend is writing love sonnets," he told me, and then he broke down in laughter again. "And I think they're about _you._"

"Oh God," I moaned. This was almost as bad as when Adrian had gotten Brayden to call me a prostitute. "Can we just-"

"_Her golden hair cascades down her back,"_ Marcus said grinning. "Ten syllables in that line. I bet he's writing you a Shakespearean sonnet."

"I broke into Donna Stanton's file archive," I said abruptly, giving him a hard look. I hadn't come here to socialize.

This got his attention at last and he gave me an equally stern look. "There's no way you could've gotten into her archive. She wouldn't let you out of her sight at her house and she would've had everything locked."

I reached into my purse and pulled out his disciplinary record. "I found this, too."

"Damn," Marcus said, stunned, as I place it on the table. "That looks like a disciplinary record." He grew serious then. "Sydney, she'll notice that it's stolen. You have to get this back where you found it."

"I made copies of the ones I took. She won't notice." He stared at me incredulously and I pointed to the top of the disciplinary record. "Read the name."

He did as I requested, and I watched his reaction carefully. The muscles in his jaw tightened and the smile he gave me didn't touch his eyes. "What a coincidence," was all he said, as though it were nothing more.

I reached into my purse and pulled out the picture of him and my father. "What about this then?" I asked, unable to hide my smugness.

Marcus eyes widened as he stared at the picture and his smile vanished. "Where did you get this?" He asked, without looking away from the picture. His voice was low and carefully controlled.

"From the Sage family file." I took a deep breath. "I'm really angry with you for not ever saying anything about whatever it means, but I'll do my best to let that go if you're truthful with me now."

He returned his attention to me, crossing his arms defensively. I was no expert at reading people, but it was obvious I'd caught him completely off-guard. "I knew your father. It's not such a big deal." His face might've been indifferent, but his eyes gave him away. They were still alive with shock and some other emotion I couldn't quite pinpoint.

"Yeah, I got that from the picture of the two of you. You look pretty close."

"We were. Emphasis on 'were,'" he said, and I detected bitterness in his tone.

"Why is your last name Sage? Are we cousins or something?"

"I can't do this," he said briskly, pushing back from the table, standing up.

"Excuse me?" I asked, my temper flaring. "I'm not taking you back to Amberwood and your most recent car until you tell me what's going on."

"Then we'll be sitting in this café all night," he countered childishly.

I felt my mouth drop open. "It's a yes or no question! Are we related or not?"

Marcus looked away and then back to me, his eyes harsh. "Yes. Happy?"

"No," I said coldly, fighting through my shock. "What are you to me?"

He looked like he might answer me, but then gave up, at a loss for words. He turned his back on me and stalked out of the café. I didn't move for a minute, as _I_ was at a loss of what to do. Marcus had never acted like this, and I didn't know how to handle it. I got up and followed him, ignoring the stares I got. He wasn't going to be able to go anywhere, right? I was his ride, after all.

When I reached Coal, Marcus was leaned over, staring at the locks. "I hate power locks. They're damn near impossible to pick."

"Don't you even try it!" I snarled. Nobody had the right to put their hands on Coal. I was especially over-protective of him after what had happened with Latte. With an angry look at Marcus I hit the unlock button on my keys, and then I got into the driver's side.

We rode in silence for a few minutes and I groped for something to say. Getting angry at him hadn't worked…what else could I try? What could I do that would make him explain what was going on?

Swallowing my anger, I said my next words calmly. "Marcus, I don't understand." He said nothing and I felt my irritation growing again. "I'm not going to just let this go, if that's what you're hoping."

He continued to stare stonily out of the window. "I don't expect you to let it go."

When we arrived at Amberwood, he climbed out of the car slowly, looking extremely tired. I walked over to his side and crossed my arms, leaning back against Coal.

"Aren't you going to say something?" I asked him, and finally, I took a deep breath, and said the only words that might've made him cave. "You're supposed to be truthful," I told him earnestly. "You're the reason my tattoo's broken, and you're one of the reasons I've turned my back on the Alchemists…one of the reasons I'm finally my own person. Don't turn into a liar on me now," I said seriously. I meant my words absolutely; I didn't agree with some of Marcus's ideals, but at the end of the day, I firmly believed that he had his heart in the right place. I also believed that in spite of everything, he was truthful. Like me, he didn't like to lie to people, because he knew what it felt like.

The look on his face proved that I'd gotten through to him. "I need some time, okay? I'll pick you up tomorrow night, and I'll tell you the truth then. I have to get my thoughts together first though. I have to make sure I'm ready."

His words troubled me, as did the look of complete and utter seriousness on his usually jocular face. Normally I wouldn't have let anyone get away with denying me the truth, but something about his manner and the honesty in his voice told me I needed to back down. "How-how bad is it?"

He chuckled, and there was a chilling sadness to the sound. There was also something in his expression that looked like pity and I shifted uncomfortably. "It's bad, Sydney. It's about as bad as it can get."

"Can you give me some sort of insight as to what it is? Is there anything I can do to…prepare myself or something?" It couldn't be any worse than any of the other secrets I'd uncovered in my life…right?

"I don't think anything will prepare you," he admitted. "But I want you to go into it with an open mind."

"Is it a conspiracy theory?" I asked, trying to lighten the mood.

He shook his head. "Conspiracy? Yes. Theory? I'm afraid not." He met my eyes then, his swimming with secrets. "That night you broke into my apartment wasn't the first time we met."

"What?" I asked sharply, just as alarmed as I was skeptical. "What on earth are you-"

"Sydney! Thank goodness you're back." A familiar voice called. Oh no, I thought. It was a perfect example of bad timing if there ever was one. Marcus and I turned, and I saw Zoe rushing toward us. She caught sight of Marcus and stopped in her tracks, her eyes bugging out of her head.

"Oh…" she began awkwardly. "Sorry…"

Marcus's entire demeanor did a 180, and he gave her one of his dazzling smiles. It was as though he'd flipped some sort switch. "No problem, sweetheart," he said. "I was just leaving."

Zoe's cheeks flushed bright red and she seemed at a loss for words.

"I'll pick you up sometime tomorrow afternoon, Sydney," Marcus said, and then he left. I watched him go with a sinking feeling developing in my stomach, one even more intense than when I'd first seen his name on the disciplinary record. I averted my eyes from his retreating figure to Zoe who was watching me, and to my utter astonishment, she was giving me a sly smile.

"Why didn't you just say something?" She asked.

"Say something about what?"

"Your boyfriend," she said with a grin.

"Oh, Zoe. It's not like that-"

She held up a hand to silence me. "Now I get it. The sneaking out. The weird behavior." She rolled her eyes at me. "It all makes perfect sense."

I was about to argue, but then I stopped myself. It did make perfect sense…a golden plan began to form in my mind. If I ever wanted to go see Adrian, I could tell Zoe I was going to see my boyfriend, "Dave." If I ever wanted to go practice magic with Ms. Terwilliger, I could tell Zoe I was going to see my boyfriend, "Dave." If I ever wanted to go complete secret missions, I could tell Zoe I was going to see my boyfriend, "Dave."

I had to admit, it was pretty low, especially since Marcus and I were apparently related, but I merely nodded. "Yeah. You got me," I told her, trying to look embarrassed.

She smirked. "Knew it," she responded.

* * *

**Oh, Sydney. What a plan, haha. **

**This chapter didn't have any Sydrian, but it didn't seem to, judging by the tweets. I am doing my best to follow them, so that's why. Next chapter there will be a Sydrian road-trip though. And we'll get to see some of the old VA gang. :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Seven**

**Adrian**

Trying to force inspiration was useless. I'd been staring at the canvas in front of me for about an hour, imagining different swirling patterns, thinking about different people or objects that might have made good subjects to paint. I was at a loss and I knew it but I was too stubborn to give up. My failed attempt at finding Sydney a birthday gift the day before lingered in my mind and I'd decided that if I couldn't find something to buy her, I could make her something. A painting would be a thoughtful and, if I worked hard enough, it would be beautiful gift for her.

I was pulling out my purple and gold paints when my regular cell phone rang. I cast a wistful glance at the love phone and went to retrieve the call.

"Who owes me the pleasure?" I answered.

"Hey, Adrian. It's Rose," came a voice through the other end of the line. My heart jumped, though not for the reason it once had.

"Hey, little dhampir," I said, sinking down onto my sofa. "Calling to tell me how much you miss me?"

I heard a sigh that seemed torn between exasperation and relief. "Not today. I'm actually not far outside of town. I'm staying at hotel in San Diego with some others."

I was perplexed, to say the least, and a little worried. "Who's with you?"

"Dimitri, Sonya, and a few people who you've never met. They're all part of Lissa's sprit research team, and they've been looking into why people that have been Strigoi before can't be turned again. They've gotten a few answers and I thought you might want to hear them. We're going to need Sydney to come as well."

And just like that, my mood transformed. Rose might've spoken as though it was no big deal, but when it came to Sydney everything was a big deal to me. "What does Sydney have to do with this?" I asked defensively.

"Sonya and the group looked at her blood sample more carefully, and they think that her blood is the key to preventing people from becoming Strigoi."

A feeling of dread crept over me. Sydney's blood was a mystery to me and Sydney, and it didn't seem to be a mystery she was too keen on solving. From Rose's words, it sounded like a bunch of Moroi and dhampirs already had which irritated me. I didn't like the thought of a bunch of people sitting around and talking about my girlfriend while she or I weren't there.

"There's probably been a mistake," I said smoothly.

"What they're onto makes sense," she said boldly. "That's why I want Sydney to be there to hear what they have to say. We all flew out here to talk to you both."

I was stuck. If they'd found something in Sydney's blood, it was too late for us to back out completely. I knew Sydney would've wanted to be there too; her being able to defend herself if needed was better than her not being there at all. "Alright," I told Rose. "We'll be there."

She gave me their hotel's address and I picked up the love phone to call Sydney. She was just leaving for breakfast and suggested that I check her out for a "college tour." I waited in the car for about half an hour so that Zoe would already be in class and not notice Sydney's absence. Somehow, the crazy plan worked, and the secretary trusted that I was telling the truth because I was "Sydney's brother."

"Nice uniform," I told Sydney, as she climbed into the Mustang. She rolled her eyes and then we were silent for a few minutes. I could tell her thoughts were troubled.

"Adrian," she finally said. "What are we going to tell them?"

"I don't know… We can't really plan because we don't know what they have to say." She sat in silence, and her fear was palpable. I reached out and held her hand. "Look…maybe it's not that bad…" I sighed and gave her a worried smile. "Whatever they've found could be a good thing. If we can stop people from turning Strigoi and you can help us do that… it's a great thing."

"Of course it is, I just…" she trailed off and fiddled nervously with her hands. After a moment she met my eyes again and it seemed to take her a lot to say her next words. "I don't want them to think I'm some sort of freak."

"You're not a freak," I said fiercely.

She gave me a dry look. "Adrian, I have magically charmed blood that no one seems to be able to stomach." She looked down and gave a humorless chuckle.

"And why does that have to be a bad thing? It saved your life. It saved mine." She leaned her head on my shoulder and I ran my free hand through her hair. "There's nothing wrong with being special, Sage."

"Maybe not to you," she said quietly. "But to the Alchemists…being special is what gets you in trouble. You're not supposed to stand out."

Her words reminded me of when I'd first proclaimed my love to her; I'd said Alchemists treated her like a cog in a machine. She wasn't allowing them to do that anymore and, even though I was prouder of her than ever, it also made me more afraid than ever. If the Alchemists found out she was the one tied to this study, it would certainly put more attention on her; attention she didn't need.

"Speaking of trouble, how did things go with Marcus yesterday?"

She let out a groan and told me the entire, mysterious story. "What the hell?" I demanded, when she'd finished. "When did he decide to get all enigmatic? I didn't think he was deep enough." Especially not with his messy blonde hair and naturally annoying nature, that was for sure. I still hadn't accepted the fact that he and Sydney were related, and I was pretty sure I never would. The thought of Marcus at our wedding and offering to babysit our kids in the future was profoundly disgusting. Talk about a bad influence. The fact that we didn't know what kind of relative he was yet bothered me still. There was a part of me that was sure he was lying, yet, why would he say something like, _the night they'd met wasn't the first night they'd met?_ He was either bat-shit crazy, or he had a lot more depth to his story that neither she nor I were ready for.

Sydney gave me a level look, and there was defensiveness in her eyes. "How would you know if he's deep? You met him once, and you punched him in the face."

I couldn't help but grin cockily at the memory. "That's me. Making history."

"A legend in your own mind," she taunted. "Let's not forget he managed to injure you in a fight with one hand."

"I let him do that."

"Mhm," Sydney mumbled, and when I looked over to her she was grinning, her mood having lightened. Good, I thought. I'd done my job.

"And this is why we're perfect for each other," I announced.

"You and Marcus?" She asked wryly, amused by both her own wit and the look of horror on my face.

"You and me," I told her, rolling my eyes. "We don't just chase away the shadows around each other, we deal with them too. We find a way to work through them. When you're nervous, I calm you down, and when I feel like a worthless piece of shit, you make me think otherwise. We bring out the best in each other."

She gave me a grin then, the kind that lit up her face. I nearly looked away because she was almost too beautiful but I was unable to look away for the same reason. We reached the hotel and the light atmosphere between us vanished. Sydney compulsively checked her regular phone for messages and calls.

"They're dissecting frogs either today or tomorrow in Angeline's biology class and that involves a lot of sharp instruments. She might stab someone."

"Or try to show her class how to cook frog legs," I said.

Sydney and I walked closely together into the hotel's lobby, and she quickly stepped away, keeping a reasonable distance between us. Rose was waiting for us on one of the posh couches, accompanied by a guardian I didn't recognize. The hotel reminded me a lot of the resort Sydney and I had joined my father for lunch at months ago, however, I pushed the dark memory to the back of my mind as Rose and the unfamiliar guardian approached us.

Rose gave us a smile and brushed some of her long, dark, hair out of her face. "I see you guys are both in one piece," she told us, her brown eyes twinkling with humor. An awkward tension hung around us, and I hoped she didn't think it was coming from anything other than the fact we used to date. "Follow me." She paused. "Oh, this sociable guy here is Glenn. He says about two words a day."

The dhampir appeared to be in his late thirties, and had curly brown hair and blue eyes. "Thanks, Hathaway," he said with an eye roll, "You guys might know my brother, Mikhail. It's nice to meet you both." He held out a hand which Sydney and I both shook. I did know his brother Mikhail, though not well. From what I'd heard, he was a really nice guy though.

We boarded an elevator with exceedingly irritating elevator music playing which was made worse by the four of us remaining silent once inside. I silently prayed we only had to go up a few floors. Luckily, most of the conference rooms were on floor two, and we were back in the open hallway sooner rather than later.

"I have some bad news," Rose admitted as we stepped into the conference room. The only person in the room was Sonya. Rose turned to face us. "Dimitri and a few other guardians took the Moroi to their feeding."

"I wasn't feeling very hungry," Sonya told us, standing from her seat and walking forward to give us hugs.

"When will everyone be back?" Sydney asked.

"It could take a couple of hours," Rose answered. "They just left."

"Belikov leading a group of hungry vampires? I'm surprised we didn't notice them," I commented.

"What did they find out about my blood?" Sydney asked Sonya, already trying to prepare and plan.

"The hotel has a restaurant. Why don't we talk about it there? I might not be hungry for blood, but I could go for some regular food."

"Are you guys coming?" Sydney asked me and Rose. I was about to answer yes, but Rose responded first.

"I think we have some things we need to talk about," Rose said, casting me a pointed glance. _Oh shit. _The only person who looked more alarmed by this than me was Sydney. She quickly reformed her face to neutrality and gave Rose a smile.

"We'll see you guys when we get back then, I guess," Sydney said, and she, Sonya and Glenn left us alone in the conference room. I was dreading this conversation, of course, but not nearly as much as I once would've been. Rose didn't evoke the same feelings in me she once had. She was still as beautiful as ever, and I still admired her, though there was nothing else there this time around. It was amazing what falling in love with Sydney had done. Now, no other woman mattered that way and I was certain no other woman ever would.

"How have you been?" Rose asked, pulling out some packets of hot chocolate along with two cups from the cabinet above the table in the corner of the room. She poured water in the cups and then putting them in the microwave. I took a seat at the large glass table in the center of the room, and resisted the urge to put my feet up on it.

"Pretty good, little dhampir. What about you?"

"Same," she said, bringing the hot chocolate over to the table and taking a seat across from me. "A lot of drama at court, but what else is new?" She asked with an irritated sigh. "I was nervous about coming down here, but I keep having to remind myself Lissa has an entire hoard of guardians besides me." A smile played over his lips as she mentioned her best friend. I kept in touch with Lissa in spirit dreams every now and then and I smiled with Rose.

"But you don't think any of them can protect her as well as you," I said knowingly.

"Of course not," Rose responded seriously. The room grew silent for a little bit after that and Rose looked away and then back at me, drinking her hot chocolate. She ran her eyes over me and gave something like a nod of approval. "You look good, you know."

I gave her a flat look. "Little dhampir, let's not get that cliché." I frowned and it took a lot for me to say my next words. "I'm over it…over us." Once the words were off my chest, I felt weightless, like flying. I'd gotten through it. Rose had ripped my heart out and thrown it across the room, but somehow, I'd pieced my world back together and become a much better man than I'd ever been when I was with her. Dammit. Somewhere along the way, I'd grown up a little bit.

Rose looked a little stunned, and I smirked. "What? Did you think I would never get over you?" I asked.

Rose gave me a glare. "No, of course not," she said stubbornly. "I just thought…well, I thought you'd go back to your old ways," she admitted. Rose was brutally honest; It was both a gift and a curse, depending on whether you were on the receiving end.

"I did," I said truthfully, "But then I pulled my head out of my ass and grew up."

She smiled. "Who's the girl?"

Rose might not have been able to read auras, but she could read people like open books. I kept my face blank. "Jill."

Rose looked disgusted. "Adrian, I swear to God, she's fifteen-"

I laughed. "No! Not like that. But being bonded to her has changed my life. Being there for her is more important than drinking or partying." My words were partly truthful. "Jill's helped me get my life back on track." I frowned. "Anyway, I'm surprised to find you lecturing about age differences anyway," I said slyly.

Rose flipped some of her dark hair out her face. "Please. I'm not a minor. And I'm not Jill. She's too sweet for you," Rose told me with a dry look. "Don't you dare rub off on her."

"Well, you were bonded to Lissa and you never made her behave any worse. She never made you behave any better either."

"Hey! That's different. My track record's not nearly as bad as yours."

"Maybe not for the same reasons, little dhampir."

She groaned and shook her head at me. "You're-"

"Charming, irresistible," I motioned with my hand. "Go ahead. Tell me how you regret choosing to stay with Dimitri. I already know that you think about me when you're in bed with him." I winked.

Rose snorted. "Definitely not. Sorry to disappoint." She sighed and then stared at me cautiously. "This is weird. Is it weird for you?"

"Well, I don't want to hear everything you and Belikov do behind closed doors, but I'm not against us being friends." I shrugged. "It's only weird if we make it weird. We were friends once. We can be friends again."

She reached out and clasped my hand on the table. "Do you feel anything?" She asked. I thought for a minute? My stomach was churning, not because of butterflies though, just because the situation.

"No," I said, almost relieved.

"There has to be a girl," Rose said with a kind smile. "Who is she?"

"If she has me, she's the luckiest girl in the world," I said wryly, and then I decided to answer her question seriously. "Okay. There is a girl and even though things are improved between you and me, I'm not ready for _that_ conversation." _Also, she's human and I'm pretty sure you'll kick my ass if I tell you the truth._

The door to the conference room opened then, and Rose and I pulled our hands back, but not before Sydney saw. Her amber eyes widened in shock, and she regarded Rose in a way that was less than friendly.

"Good. The Calvary is back," I announced, standing up. I noticed she was alone. "Where are Sonya and Glenn?"

"At lunch," Sydney responded coolly. "I have to get back to Amberwood."

Rose jumped into guardian mode. "Is something wrong?" She demanded, jumping to her feet.

"Nothing that I can't handle," Sydney responded, a bit harshly. "I have to go to my sister. She's…having trouble dealing with the Alchemist stuff on her own."

"Oh," Rose said, a little stunned. "Well, did Sonya get the chance to tell you what she-"

"Yeah," Sydney said quickly. "I really have to go. Adrian will let me know what all goes on at the meeting. It was good to see you, Rose." And like that, Sydney made the quickest exit I'd ever seen her make. I mumbled a lame excuse to Rose about wanting a drink and I followed Sydney down the hall.

"Sage, wait," I called, just barely making it into the elevator before it closed.

"What?" She asked. "Don't you have Rose to entertain you while I'm gone."

I felt my mouth drop open. "Sage, it's not like that anymore. We just had a heart-to-heart, that's all." She nodded, and seemed to relax a little, and I reached out to brush her cheek. "What's going on with Zoe?"

"Nothing," Sydney answered. "Ms. Terwilliger called me. She has some spell books she wants me to pick up immediately."

"Is Alicia…?"

"I don't know," Sydney admitted. We hadn't seen or heard from the witch since the altercation over a month ago. "But I know I need to be back at Amberwood anyway. It's too risky to be this far away."

"But what about your blood?"

She took a calming breath and reached for my hand. "I'm going to need you to be my voice in the meeting. You know me. You know what I'd be okay with and what I wouldn't be okay with." She gave me a small smile. "That's one of the reasons I'm okay with leaving. I trust you to handle this."

Her words both thrilled and terrified me. I was so glad she had such faith in me, but I was terrified of letting her down or doing something wrong. "Sage-"

She leaned forward and kissed me, and any protests I had faded. A feeling of warmth and calm rushed over me, and in that very moment, I felt invincible.

"I believe in you," she said. And then she turned to walk out of the elevator.

"Wait," I said, following her into the lobby. "How the hell are you getting back?"

"I was going to call a cab," she said, as though this were obvious. I reached into my pocket and tossed her my car keys. Her eyes bugged out of her head.

"Take the Ivashkinator," I told her with a crooked grin. "_I'll _call a cab later."

Her expression reminded me of a kid on Christmas morning, and I tried to commit the picture to memory. "I'll repay you somehow," she said, looking at me as though I'd solved world hunger or found the cure for cancer.

I walked toward her and leaned into her ear to whisper my next words. "Let me get past the bra next time."

She shook her head in humor and walked away. "Is that a yes or a no?" I called after her. She didn't answer me however, merely shooting me a smile instead.

"Dammit," I muttered, and I turned to head back to the conference room. Without Sydney's calming presence, my nerves spiked. _You can do this_, I assured myself. All I had to do was kick anyone's ass that took this blood thing too far. If anyone put Sydney in a bad situation, I could kick their ass, no problem. I'd once stood up to Dimitri on this very subject for her, and I'd once punched a fugitive in the face for her. If I was kicking someone's ass for Sydney, I could handle it.

* * *

**AN: This update took soooo much longer than I anticipated. I'm doing online schooling this year, and between AP Lang and Physics I'm kind of drowning, haha. If I have the time for writing, my mind exhausted and my muse is flat. Luckily, I got through this chapter, and as I get more accustomed to online schooling, I should be able to update more quickly. Hope you guys enjoy this chapter! Next chapter is going to be a tough one for poor Sydney...**

**As always, I love reading your reviews; they make my day. Writing means a lot to me, and so do you guys. Thank you.**

**As always, thank you to my fabulous beta, Tegan (Madame-Bovary-was-framed) ! You should check out her writing. :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Eight **

**Sydney**

"So… you're not sure whether Alicia is back or not?" I asked Ms. Terwilliger.

She took off her glasses and began cleaning them with a cloth she kept in her desk drawer. "No. We're not sure. It looks like she might have fled, but at the same time, Maude suggested that you take these books and prepare yourself just in case."

I nodded. "I could use a location spell on her to get an idea of what she's up to. I could use the one I used to locate Veronica." I regretted my words as soon as I'd said them. Veronica was a touchy subject for Ms. Terwilliger, and we both tried to bring her up as little as possible.

If she was affected by the mention of her sister, she didn't show it. "That particular spell won't work, because it's specifically for someone you've never met. Now that you've met her, you'll be able to see her location, but you won't be able to zoom out like you normally would. The spell will block you."

I ran a hand through my hair and shook my head, a bit embarrassed at having forgotten something so important. "I knew that, I know I did." As the words left my mouth, something about what she'd said registered with me, something I hadn't caught right away. When I'd performed the location spell to find Marcus, I'd been able to see his apartment, but when I'd tried to zoom out, I'd lost the spell entirely. I'd blamed it on the extraordinary Pennsylvania cold, and I normally wouldn't have given it a second thought except…

"_That night you broke into my apartment wasn't the first time we met…" _His words from yesterday echoed through my mind, and a shiver ran down my spine.

"Ms. Melbourne? Is something wrong?" Ms. Terwilliger watched me, concerned. I sank into the chair in front of her desk and I was silent for a little while. When I did speak, my voice sounded far away, like I was in a fog.

"I… I don't really know…" I took a deep breath, steadying myself. Ms. Terwilliger was one of the few people in my life I felt I could trust completely, and perhaps that was why I decided to express my worries to her. She would have some sort of logical explanation, and she would make me feel better. The location spell not working and Marcus's words had no connection. "I tried that location spell a couple of months ago and when I tried to zoom out, I lost the magic completely. It was really cold outside though, so it was probably just the weather."

Ms. Terwilliger shook her head. "How does someone as gifted as you just mess up on a spell you've already performed flawlessly? Weather's not going to affect your unbelievable focus." She frowned. "Had you met the person before?"

"That's sort of the problem. He's saying that we _have _met before, and I don't remember ever seeing him before in my life." I swallowed. "He's probably lying."

"Do you really think he is or are you hoping that he is?"

I averted my eyes from her gaze and opened one of the new spell books she'd given me, needing something to do with my hands. "It says this spell needs rocks. Do you have…?" She reached into her drawer without hesitation and pulled out a few rocks. "It's probably nothing," I said out loud, moving the subject back to the location spell, and taking the rocks from her hands. "I was really far away from his location too, all the way across the country. Maybe the distance alone interfered with the spell."

**Ms. Terwilliger didn't have a chance to respond to my geological ramblings because someone knocked on the door. I slipped the rocks into my pocket and tried to look studious as she called an entry. I figured Zoe had tracked me down but surprisingly, Angeline walked in.**

"**Did you know," she said, "that it's a lot harder to put organs back in the body than it is to get them out?"**

**I closed my eyes and silently counted to five before opening them again. "Please tell me you haven't eviscerated someone."**

**She shook her head. "No, no. I left my biology homework in Miss Wentworth's room, but when I went back to get it, she'd already left and locked the door. But it's due ****tomorrow****, and I'm already in trouble in there, so I **_**had**_** to get it. So, I went around outside, and her window lock wasn't that hard to open, and I-"**

"**Wait," I interrupted. "You broke into a classroom?"**

"**Yeah, but that's not the problem."**

**Behind me, I heard a choking laugh from Ms. Terwilliger's desk.**

"**Go on," I said wearily.**

"**Well, when I climbed through, I didn't realize there was a bunch of stuff in the way, and I crashed into those plastic models of the human body she has. You know, the life size ones with all the parts inside? And bam!" Angeline held up her arms for effect. "Organs everywhere." She paused and looked at me expectantly. "So what are we going to do? I can't get in trouble with her."**

"**We?" I exclaimed.**

"**Here," said Ms. Terwilliger. I turned around, and she tossed me a set of keys. From the look on her face, it was taking every ounce of self-control not to burst out laughing. "That square one's a master. I know for a fact she has yoga and won't be back for the rest of the day. I imagine you can repair the damage- and retrieve the homework- before anyone's the wiser."**

**I knew that the 'you' in 'you can repair' meant me. With a sigh, I stood up and packed up my things. "Thanks," I said.**

**As Angeline and I walked down to the science wing, I told her, "You know, the next time you've got a problem, maybe come to me before it becomes an even bigger problem."**

"**Oh no," she said nobly. "I didn't want to be an inconvenience."**

**Her description of the scene was pretty accurate: organs everywhere. Miss Went worth had two models, male and female, with carved out torsos that cleverly held removable parts of the body that could be examined in greater detail. Wisely, she had purchased models that were only waist-high. That was still more than enough of a mess for us, especially since it was hard to tell which model the various organs belonged to.**

**I had a pretty good sense of the anatomy but still opened up a textbook for reference as I began sorting. Angeline, realizing her uselessness here, perched on a far counter and swung her legs as she watched me. I'd started reassembling the male when I heard a voice behind me.**

"**Melbourne, I always knew you'd need to learn about this kind of thing. I just kind of hoped you'd learn it on a real guy."**

**I glanced back at Trey, as he leaned in the doorway with a smug expression. "Ha ha. If you were a real friend, you'd come help me." I pointed at the female model. "Let's see some of this alleged expertise in action."**

"**Alleged?" He sounded indignant but strolled in anyway.**

**I hadn't really thought much about asking him for help. Mostly I was thinking this was taking much longer than it should, and I had more important things to do with my time. It was only when he came to a sudden halt that I realized my mistake.**

"**Oh," he said, seeing Angeline. "Hi."**

**Her swinging feet stopped, and her eyes were as wide as his. "Um, hi."**

**The tension ramped up from zero to sixty in a matter of seconds, and everyone seemed at a loss for words. Angeline jerked her head towards the models and blurted out. "I had an accident."**

**That seemed to snap Trey from his daze, and a smile curved his lips. Whereas Angeline's antics made me want to pull out my hair sometimes, he found them endearing.**

"**That seems to happen a lot," he said.**

"**It wasn't my fault," she insisted.**

"**It never is."**

"**I just have bad luck."**

"**Or you're just trouble."**

"**You got a problem with that?"**

"**No problem at all," he said in a low voice.**

"**Oh my God," I exclaimed. "Are you going to help or not?"**

**Somehow, the awkward tension had become sexual tension, and I was ready to bolt. Trey, after one more long, heated look at her, turned away and threw himself into reassembling the female model. I hadn't put much stock in his bragging, but to my surprise, he finished pretty quickly.**

"**Told you I'm an expert," he said, with a sidelong glance at Angeline.**

"**Didn't you take AP Biology?" I asked.**

**They both seemed to forgotten me again and were going all dreamy-eyed. I cleared my throat. "Angeline, it's almost time for dinner. Do you need to go change?"**

"**Huh? Oh. Yeah." She had enough presence of mind to fetch the homework that had started all of this. "Thanks for fixing this," she told Trey, as though I hadn't even done anything.**

**He gave a nonchalant shrug, like he did this thing every day. "No problem."**

**After he'd swaggered out the door, Angeline gave a mournful sigh. "Oh, Sydney. Why does he have to be one of those stupid Warriors?"**

**I locked up the classroom. "Well, he's not technically one right now."**

"**But he could be again," she said, trudging beside me as we headed out to catch the shuttle to our dorm. "And if he does, he'll never overcome all that stuff about mixing with dhampirs. One of these days, he'll start dating a human again, and since we're here, I won't be able to do anything about it."**

"**What exactly do you mean 'do anything'?" I asked cautiously.**

**She brightened a little. "Well, if we were back home, I could just keep challenging his new girlfriends to duels and beating them up."**

"**Well, then," I said, "let's hope he stays single." **

We boarded the shuttle and rode in silence. Angeline seemed genuinely troubled about her feelings for Trey, and I hoped that everything was going to work out for the best. Trey was a good guy in a bad situation, and if he could overcome it, he would probably be good for her. She would probably good for him, too; Adrian had certainly been good for me.

Angeline and I stepped off of the shuttle and we began the walk to our dorm. I was hoping to head to my room and work on a few spells, but I froze in my tracks as I caught sight of Zoe sitting on the bench just outside the door. It wasn't that big of a deal that she was doing her work outside, but it was a big deal that Marcus was sitting next to her.

"Who's that with Zoe?" Angeline asked, giving Marcus an interested look. "He's hot."

"He's really not, and anyway, he's_ way _too old for her," I snapped, my protective instincts kicking in. What was he doing? Was he trying to get her to join his rebellion? There was no way he was playing with her impressionable mind. The last thing she needed was Marcus Finch to show her the light. I stalked over to them, not bothering to hide my disdain.

"Hey, Zoe," I called, reaching them. "Hello, Dave." I gave him an icy smile, and tried to convey my disapproval in my eyes. He was giving me an irritatingly smug smirk. I wasn't a violent person, but if Zoe hadn't been sitting there, I might've slapped him.

"Hey, Sydney," Zoe said, standing up. Her cheeks were flushed and she cast Marcus a fond look. "I was just telling Dave how he needed to treat you right."

"Yeah, well, Dave needs to…" I frowned, finally registering her words. "What?"

"You know, since we're dating and all," Marcus said, with a smile, though his eyes were as narrowed as mine. "I came here to surprise you, though I'm pretty sure I was the one who was surprised…" He trailed off and then gave an uncomfortable laugh. The look on his face said I was as good as dead next time we were alone. This hadn't been part of my grand plan yesterday. Marcus wasn't supposed to find out.

I smiled, and I hoped Zoe bought it. "Well, are we going to go out this afternoon or not?" I asked him, knowing that Marcus and I had about as much chemistry as the same poles of magnents. Even if we weren't supposedly related, I was pretty sure we would've never wound up dating.

"Of course we are." He said, walking to slip an arm around my shoulder. "My bounty is as boundless as the sea, my love as deep," he said gallantly. I cringed internally. Adrian spoiled me with his beautiful metaphors and romantic words. Sometimes it was easy to forget not all men were that profound.

My disapproval must have been obvious because he leaned in toward my ear and whispered, "You're in no position to judge my romantic lines."

"Well, Dave and I should probably get going," I told Zoe. "Call me if you need anything, okay?" The last of my words were serious. Even if I was leaving with my human "boyfriend" I needed to stay on top of my duties. I hadn't forgotten Marcus's words about telling me the truth yesterday, and I supposed that was why he had come by today.

Zoe nodded, giving us a sly look and turning to head back up to our dorm. Marcus and I got into his Honda Civic and after buckling his seatbelt, he turned to glower at me.

"You told Zoe you and I were dating as a way to explain all of your rebellious escapades, I'm guessing." His words weren't a question, merely a flat statement.

I was a little embarrassed, though I tried not to show it. "I love her, but she's nosey. I needed an explanation."

"Yeah, well, next time I'm involved in one of your 'explanations', let me know," he said dryly.

"You're going to go along with it?" I asked, a little stunned.

He sighed. "If I don't she'll get suspicious and I don't want that for you so, yes, I'll play boyfriend. Don't expect love notes or extravagant gifts, though," he muttered, cranking the car.

"Charming," I told him. "Definite boyfriend material. Don't even think about trying to suck Zoe into your little fringe group." My protective nature was back, and I gave him a fierce glare.

He gave me a look that reminded me of the kind my mom gave me when I said something she thought was ridiculous. "Sydney, I know she's fifteen. She's way too young for this kind of stuff."

I let out a sigh of relief. "I'm glad you feel that way." After a few moments of silence, I finally had the presence of mind to ask where we were going.

"Clarence Donahue's," Marcus answered, as though this was completely normal.

"What does Clarence have to do with you telling the truth?"

"Not too much. But his place is private, and I think it's safe."

I asked no more questions, knowing he wasn't going to bite. The tension between us was, if possible, worse than it had been yesterday. Ms. Terwilliger's words about the location spell hadn't left my mind, and neither had Marcus's mysterious words about our first meeting. My nerves were so on edge that when Marcus pulled out his phone at a red light, I nearly snatched it out of his hand.

"It's illegal to text and drive," I told him seriously.

He seemed to find this amusing. "I'm not even driving."

"Driving is strictly defined as the control or operation of a motor vehicle, so, yes, you're driving."

He tilted his head back and laughed, putting me even more on edge. "Are you going to call the cops on me?"

"I'm _serious."_

He grinned at me. "And that's what makes you so funny. I've betrayed an entire organization, I stole this car, and you're horrified that I'm texting and driving." He shook his head, still grinning.

"You stole this car?" I let out. "What if we get pulled over?"

"You won't have to call the cops about my texting and driving. You can tell them face to face."

We didn't speak for the rest of the drive, and the tension returned. When we reached Clarence's Marcus looked over to me from the driver's side, his eyes as full of secrets as they had been the first time I'd seen them, in the picture Clarence had given me. "Are you sure you want to go through with this?" He asked. "If you don't, we can just ignore everything and leave things the way they are. I'm okay with that."

"_I'm_ not," I told him sternly. "I'm sick of lies. I want the truth. If we're not truthful with each other… then neither of us stands a chance against the Alchemists."

He gave me small smile and climbed out of the driver's side. Dorothy answered Clarence's door and told us that he was having his nap, but that we were welcome to hang around until he woke up.

"Is it alright if we wait in the library?" Marcus asked. Dorothy nodded and Marcus and I began navigating our way down the long corridors of Clarence's house.

"Library?" I muttered. "I never knew he had one."

This seemed to surprise Marcus. "Really? I figured it'd be the first place you'd ask for."

He opened a large set of double doors at the end of one of the corridors, and flipped on a light switch in the corner. The switch was connected to a few low-lit ceiling lights. There was an old fireplace in the corner, with ashes at the bottom. And books . . . there were so many books. I closed the door behind us and stared in wonder.

Shelf upon shelf lined the walls, filled with books of every size and kind. I could've spent all day in here. If given enough food and water, I probably could've lived in here. "Wow," I murmured.

Marcus went to a table on the far side of the room and took a seat. I sat across from him and crossed my arms to avoid touching the dusty table.

He took a deep breath and drummed his fingers nervously. "You want to know why my real last name's Sage, am I correct?"

"Yes," I responded, feeling my own nerves grow.

"Like I said, you need to go into this with an open mind. I need you to hear me out. Just save the questions for when I'm finished; that's all I ask." When I nodded, he seemed to steady himself again. He clasped his hands together on the table, silencing their nervous tapping.

"I told you a little about myself when we played skee ball. This time, I'm going to go back a little further, to what my life was like before I started questioning the Alchemists." He seemed to find some sort of determination, and his voice grew more confident as he continued.

"My family meant the world to me, and they still do in spite of everything. I had a tumultuous relationship with my father, a wonderful one with my mother, and loving ones with all three of my sisters. I was particularly closest to one of my sisters. She was the second youngest, born three years after me. She was my best friend, my closest confident, and when I left the Alchemists and they branded a lily on her cheek, I swore I'd work to save her from that life."

"When I left, she called me every night. She wanted to know how I was, when I'd be coming back, when she could sneak away from Dad to see me…" He gave a sad smile, and kept his attention anywhere but on me. "Suddenly, one night, she didn't call. I didn't think much of it, because, why would I? She was getting older, she didn't need me like she used to. The next day I flew out to our home, knowing my Dad wouldn't be there. When I approached her, she didn't recognize me."

"What do you mean she didn't recognize you?" I asked.

"I mean that quite literally. She didn't know me at all. It was as if she'd never seen me before."

"And she was just upset you left?" I said, thinking that was the only explanation.

"The Alchemists had somehow erased her memory of me because of my betrayal. They didn't want her following in my footsteps. They didn't want my family speaking out about my actions ether. They were afraid of what would happen if word got around that it was possible to leave."

I shook my head. "That's impossible. The Alchemists can't erase people's memories, Marcus. I know you know that."

He tilted his head, and it was as though he could see right through me. "They can put compulsion in their tattoos to control people. They can ship people off to re-education and make them believe all vampires are monsters. What makes you think they can't do other things to people's minds too?"

I had no answer. The Alchemists weren't the honest organization I'd once thought they were, but erasing people's memories… that seemed too sinister for even them.

"They erased fifteen years of memories," he continued. "They took fifteen years away from her. And the worst part was… she didn't even realize anything like that had happened, that they'd taken her brother from her."

I shifted uncomfortably, my heart and mind racing. Even if it was impossible for the Alchemists to do this, he believed that they had. He was as sincere as I'd ever seen him, which was probably what scared me the most. Marcus was a lot of things, but he wasn't gullible or stupid. The last time he'd proposed a far-fetched theory, I'd thought he was crazy until that theory had been proven right. Was he right about this too? He'd asked me to keep an open mind and I tried to imagine that he was right, to imagine what this meant to him.

"I – I'm so sorry," I told him quietly, thinking of my own sisters. The thought of losing them at all was heartbreaking. The thought of losing them the way he had lost his, the thought of Carly and Zoe regarding me as if I were a stranger was…unbearable. "I never knew," I said shakily. "You never talk about your family."

"You've never asked," he responded with a shrug. "You've asked a lot of questions about what I do…just never anything about me."

I felt a little guilty for some reason. It wasn't my job to inquire personally but the more I thought back on it, the more I realized I probably should have. "I've just got so much going on, I, well, I didn't really think to…" I trailed off. "I don't mind you telling me this – I want you to – I just… what does it have to do with me?"

He sighed heavily. "This is harder than I even thought. You really don't have any idea what it could have to do with you?"

"No, I don't."

"You're my sister, Sydney. They took your memories of me away."

It was like I'd just been plunged into a bucket of ice water. "What? No, Marcus. I'm really sorry about what happened, but I assure you, you've got the wrong girl."

"You saw the paperwork. My real name is Marcus Sage. Jared Sage is my father, Deborah Sage is my mother. You-"

I jumped up from my seat, startled. "Stop it!" I demanded. "That's not true!"

"Why would I make this up?" He asked, standing.

"I'm not going to listen to this," I growled furiously, my heart hammering in my chest. "I don't know what you hoped to gain tonight, but you've lost me. Good luck with your rebellion." I turned my back on him and began making my way to the door. He was right behind me and touched my shoulder.

"Clarence showed you that picture you have of me once before you asked him for it."

I turned to give him a nasty look. "He's old, Marcus. His thoughts aren't coherent. He also thought he showed me some pictures of Lee and Tamara," I said irritably, remembering my conversation with Clarence after I'd returned to his place from the Warrior's arena.

"He _had_ shown you those pictures before. Keith Darnell used to be stationed in Palm Springs. Dad sort of clung to him after I left."

"I know who Keith Darnell is," I growled, not wanting to bring _him_ up in what was already an awful conversation.

"Keith apparently spent the summer with you guys, and you and Dad drove him down to Palm Springs for his field assignment. While they were meeting at Clarence's and discussing the Alchemist stuff, you wound up having a chat with the old vampire. He mentioned that he knew your brother and he showed you the picture of me and the pictures of Tamara."

"I remember dropping Keith off in Palm Springs and helping him get everything set up, but Clarence did not show me a picture of you. We didn't even stop at Clarence's."

"You don't remember Clarence's or the picture of me because the Alchemists have tampered with your mind!" Marcus's control seemed to snap. "I know it sounds crazy, okay? It's like… it's like any memories of me or any pertaining to me are completely gone." He calmed down and then reached into his pocket. "Here," he said. "This is the only proof I've got."

I took the picture and turned it over in my hand. Upon doing so, I nearly dropped it. In this picture, Marcus still wore a lily on his cheek, and he still wore his hair neatly. He also had his arm around me. I was about fourteen and my smile was wider in this picture than it was in most. There was also no lily on my cheek. I shoved the picture back into Marcus's hands, wanting it out of my sight.

"Did you Photoshop a picture so that I would believe you? What is _wrong_ with you? If you wanted me for your cause, surely you could've come up with a better lie than this?!"

Marcus's own temper flared. "If you're so certain I'm lying, why are you in such a hurry to get away from me?" He voice was much harsher than it had been, and he worked to calm down as he said his next words. "Look at me," he pleaded. "I mean really look at me. We have the same hair, almost the same profile. The only difference is I have mom's eyes."

"Anyone can have blue eyes!" I said, shaking my head and turning away from him again. I tried to calm my breathing and my pounding heart. "Marcus," I said wearily, shutting my eyes and then reopening them. "Just stop," I pleaded. I wanted to go home and forget that this had ever happened. I was tired of arguing and fighting. My mind raced with Ms. Terwilliger's words about the failed location spell, with Clarence's words, with the picture of Marcus and me, and with the story Marcus had told me.

"Our family cat is named Cicero," he continued, obviously trying to further prove his point. "_I _named him, actually. I wanted to name him Marcus but mom said that I couldn't so I named him Cicero after the Roman philosopher so that his first name would always be Marcus anyway. She still hasn't figured that out."

I faced him once more, becoming less sure he was lying and more afraid with every word he spoke.

"You feel out of place in the family because you aren't as much like Carly and Zoe. Carly was always just like mom, and Zoe, well to me, she always seemed more like Dad. You and I have traits from both of them." Marcus averted his eyes. "I like to think I'm more like Mom, but I know I've got some of Dad in me too. If I was more like Mom, well, I'd probably be better at having this conversation with you," he added softly.

I focused my attention on a bookshelf in the corner of the room, blinking back tears. I wanted nothing more than to storm out of here and forget everything he'd told me, but I couldn't seem to make myself leave. "When I saw your name on the disciplinary record I knew something was really wrong," I said, far more boldly than I felt. "But I just can't accept this."

He reached out and caught hold of my hand. "Sydney-"

"I – I don't know what to say to you," I told him. "I can't just accept the fact that the Alchemists have messed with my mind. Do you understand that? I can't just accept that they've erased an entire person from my life! Can _you_ even comprehend that?" Something inside of me broke, and the harsh reality of the moment came crashing down on me.

"Sydney, let me help. That's all I want to do," he said earnestly.

"How can you help?" I was practically shouting now. "How can anyone help? If they've done something like this, if they've erased an entire person from my mind, that's beyond me- that's even beyond _you!_ It's beyond all of us." I'd grown quieter toward the end, a numbness beginning to engulf me. "I can't deal with this right now," I said. "I've got too much on my plate. I just…I can't." There was desperation in my voice that I'd never heard, and I worked harder than I ever had not to cry. I was worried that if I let go of that last bit of control I might not ever regain it.

Marcus's blue eyes – eyes that looked remarkably like my mother's – were filled with concern, which somehow made me want to cry more. He let go of my hand and gave a weary sigh. "I'll take you back to Amberwood."

* * *

**AN: Flashback to TGL anyone? "My mind...it's who I am. I'd think I'd rather suffer any injury in the world than have my mind tampered with."**

**Well, now that this plot is out there, it's time move forward and watch things continue to go downhill...haha. I hope you guys don't kill me for the next chapter. How are you guys feeling about the story so far? Let me know! I really love reading all of your feedback. **

**Also, as always, thank you to my fabulous beta, Tegan.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Nine**

**Adrian**

The group of spirit researchers turned out to be bigger than I'd expected; there were probably about twenty-five people in the room. I suddenly found myself a lot more nervous than I had been before. I was fine with talking to Rose and other familiar faces… but all of these strangers? It intensified the situation. I also hyperaware of how important it was I not seem _too_ protective of Sydney. The last thing I wanted to do was expose us.

"So," I announced loudly, causing a couple of nearby guardians to jump. "What did we find out about Sydney Sage's blood?" I asked, keeping my expression as neutral as I possibly could. From the corner of my eye, I noticed Dimitri, who looked like an earthquake might not make him blink. How the hell did he do that?

Sonya smiled at me from across the table. "Sydney's blood has all five elements in it: earth, water, fire, air, and spirit. It didn't occur to us until we all sat down and talked it out one night, but those were the same elements that charmed the stakes that were used to bring myself and Dimitri back from our undead state."

I frowned. "What's your point?"

"Well," Sonya said, still excited, "those five elements have to be why Strigoi couldn't drink her blood in your apartment that night."

"Strigoi can't touch silver stakes either," Dimitri announced, "because they're charmed with four of the five elements. Anyone who has been restored form being a Strigoi has a hum of spirit in their blood, which must be why the Strigoi can't turn them. Strigoi can't even stomach Sydney's because she had all _five _elements."

I met everyone's gazes, arching my eyebrows. "So what's Sydney's part in this? All you guys have to do is find a way to charm everyone's blood with spirit and you'll be set."

The next words came from a pretty Moroi girl, a few chairs down from me. "How does Sydney have all five elements in her blood? Is it something to do with the Alchemist tattoos? If so, we're going to need to get in touch with them."

Oh, _shit._ This was way over my head. "No, that's not-"

"But if it were just the tattoos, Alchemists wouldn't be able to be turned Strigoi at all," mused a guardian I didn't recognize. "We have records of their kind being turned."

"Is Sydney's tattoo any different from the others?" Asked Sonya.

Well, it hadn't been when the Strigoi had attacked her, I thought. "Hang on-" I tried again.

"Maybe she's higher ranking, and her tattoo has more magic in it," mused Glenn.

The room was going crazy with ideas and theories, and my words were stuck in my throat. I wasn't a leader. I'd never been involved in politics, and I didn't know how to deliver inspiring speeches. I was about to give up when **an image of Sydney's face appeared in my mind's eye, calm and lovely. I believe in you. My anxiety faded. I took a deep breath and met the gazes of all those watching me in this room. Who was I to do this? I was Adrian Ivashkov. And I was about to kick some ass. (AN: Actual quote. All credit goes to the fabulous Richelle.)**

"Everyone shut up!" I snapped. "The Alchemists are not friends to us in this, okay? They _hate_ us."

"But we have a common enemy with the Strigoi."

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean we suddenly need to trust an organization that deems us as monsters with a bunch of personal research. The Alchemists didn't want any part in this experiment to begin with, and they certainly aren't going to want any part in it now. They don't give a damn about us, and this is a problem we need to solve on our own. I'm positive that it has nothing to do with the tattoos." The strength in my voice made the room go silent, and I was surprised to find everyone watching me, interested in what I had to say rather than amused or exasperated. My confidence rose, and I stood up.

"We're on the right track, but let's be really careful here. I know I've stressed this, but the Alchemists aren't the good guys. We don't need to drag Sydney further into it for that very reason. She's helped us enough. We need to take care of the rest on our own. That means we don't need to know why Sydney's blood is charmed, just _how."_

Sonya studied me for a few moments, a small smile playing on her lips. "I think Adrian's right," she said boldly, shooting me a knowing look that made nearly made me shift uncomfortably. "We don't need to drag Sydney further into this. She's already had enough trouble with our people as it is."

Rose nodded. "I second that. I want to keep her out of this as much as we can as well. When she got busted for helping me while I was on the run…well, her people didn't take it very well. The last thing I want to do – or any of us for that matter – is get her into more trouble."

I could've hugged Rose Hathaway then and there, ex-girlfriend or not. I avoided her gaze though, and everyone else's in the room, afraid I might give my true feelings away. A few people murmured in approval at what I'd said, and I felt a surge of pride well up within me. I'd done it. I'd managed to keep them from blowing things out of proportion and I'd been Sydney's voice, just like she'd asked me to.

The rest of the meeting was boring compared to that dramatic start. The research team now had more to look into, since they had a new direction of sorts. The main reason they'd wanted to come was to talk it out with me or Sydney, and see if we had any other ideas. Some of the gossip around the table once the meeting was dismissed also led me to believe a lot of them were anxious to take a break from court. Things sounded tenser than usual right now.

As I was gathering a few phone numbers the Moroi girl that had spoken during the meeting tapped me on the shoulder. She had golden brown hair and she appeared to be about my age. "Want an autograph?" I teased, enjoying all of the positive attention I'd been receiving.

"No thanks," she said, smiling. "That was really great. What you said, I mean."

I held out my hand to her. "Adrian."

She shook it gladly. "Hannah," she responded, and then she leaned forward to whisper something. I was too shocked to pull back. "I'm a spirit user too, by the way. There are more of us here than you'd think."

I scooted away, a bit uncomfortable with our close proximity. "Good to meet one of us that isn't crazy."

I had a long ride ahead of me in whatever cab I called, and I wanted to go ahead and leave. As I was walking out of the door, Rose caught hold of my arm.

"Nice job," she told me. Unlike with Hannah, there was no charming smile on her face. She was simply giving me a compliment, and I was grateful for it.

"Thanks, little dhampir," I said. Before I could leave, Rose stopped me again.

"Are you sure you don't want to tell me the girl's name?"

"Definitely," I shot over my shoulder, and I left to call a cab. The ride back to Palm Springs turned out to be a lot more entertaining than I'd expected. The cab driver was old and almost as crazy as Clarence. He had all sorts of stories to tell me about how much younger he liked his women, which both amused and creeped me out. He attempted to give me advice on how to get ladies as well, which I found extremely amusing. If there was on area I didn't need to improve on, it was my ability to flirt and charm. This guy really needed my tips more than I needed his it seemed.

When he dropped me off at my apartment, the sun was already setting and I pulled my phone out of my pocket instantly to order a pizza. I'd never been much of a cook, and I'd had boxed macaroni last night so naturally, the next option was take-out. I noticed my car was already parked in the back lot and I suppressed a smile. Sydney always managed to be on time, no matter how hectic her life. I was surprised not to have any texts from her though, and after I'd ordered the pizza, I dialed her number. Stepping into my apartment, I thought I could hear her phone ringing from somewhere inside. Stunned, I followed the sound to my bedroom where I found her lounging on my bed.

"Aren't you going to get that?" I asked her teasingly.

She sat up, which seemed oddly difficult for her for whatever reason. She hit ignore on her lovephone and gave me a grin that was almost too big for her face. "Hey, you," she told me, and then she let an obnoxiously loud sigh. "You took a lot longer than I thought you would." She glanced around like she didn't know where she was at. "How long have I been here?"

I would've laughed at her, had I not been concerned. "I don't know, I just got here, remember? Did you fall asleep or something?"

She snorted, like actually snorted. "Psh, no, Ididn'tfallasleep." Her words slurred together, and a fresh wave of shock rolled over me. Something in my head clicked, and I was able to pinpoint exactly what was going on.

"Are you _drunk?_" I asked, looking around the room for evidence. Sure enough, there was an open wine bottle on my nightstand.

Sydney stumbled gracelessly to her feet and clung to the bedpost for support. "Why would I, _Sydney Sage,_ be drunk?" She asked me, tilting her head so far to the side to peer at me, she nearly lost her balance. I rushed to her side to steady her, and she gladly threw her whole weight into my arms.

"I really don't know why you'd be drunk," I answered, and I was a bit frightened by the prospect. Normally I would've said it was an accident, like she'd thought the fruit drinks I had in the refrigerator were alcohol-free, but there was no denying the giant bottle of wine she'd been consuming. She'd gotten drunk on purpose. "Look, Sage, if quitting caffeine is this hard for you, we can raise your limit to two cups of coffee a day."

She ran her hands up under my shirt then, running them across my chest. I nearly lost myself in the sensation, until I smelled the alcohol on her breath. She kissed me then, and it was sloppier and rougher than most of our kisses. Sydney wasn't one to hold back without alcohol, but with it, she was in overdrive. She trailed her lips down my jaw, to my neck…

"Stop, Sage," I told her, picking her up with ease and setting her down on the bed, happy to get her out of my arms for once. She swayed slightly, though her amber eyes watched me the way I'd seen cats watch birds before they pounced them. The desire in her eyes was one of the hottest things I'd ever seen, and I had to continuously remind myself that it was the wine. Did she feel this way when_ I_ was drunk? Somehow I doubted it. I turned my attention away from her for a moment to examine the wine bottle. When I picked it up, I realized it was empty.

"Holy shit, Sage," I said aloud, and then I shook my head. "Should've known. You don't do anything halfway." When I laid my eyes on her again, I swore again. "Sage, what the hell? Are you trying to kill me? Stop."

She had already pulled her shirt off, and was clumsily reaching for her bra. "You want to help me get it off?" She asked, giving me a sly smile. I nearly dropped the wine bottle, and I reached out to hold her hands still, sinking onto the bed with her. When I'd said I'd wanted to get past the bra, this hadn't been what I'd had in mind.

_God, yes, I want to rip it off._ "No," I said. "Not tonight." I concentrated on her aura, trying to get a fix on it. It was blurred the way all drunk people's were, but I could still get a fix on the colors the alcohol was covering. Her usual yellow and purple were there, though there was a small amount swirling dark colors too; colors that sent a fresh wave of fear rolling over me.

"Sydney, what happened?" I asked her seriously.

"That's a broad question," she told me with a sigh. "Can you just kiss me instead?" She moved toward me and I dodged her kiss, something I'd never expected to do. When I did this she rolled over and muffled her face in my pillow. I didn't notice she had grabbed her cellphone and was dialing someone until it was too late.

"Heyyyyy," Sydney sang.

"Sage-"

"Can you explain what you explained to me when you explained it to Adrian?" She said into the phone.

I could tell the person on the other end of the line was male, and I prayed to whatever God above there was it wasn't Sydney's father. _"What?"_ The voice asked. "Sydney is that you?"

"No, it's not the Alchemists. I should call _them_ next." There was anger in her voice then, and I feared the worst.

"Sydney, hand me the phone," I ordered. She listened this time, and I answered, certain this was going to be my first conversation with Daddy Sage. I prepared to sound like a studious Alchemist.

"Who is this? What the hell is going on?" A confused voice demanded. "Sydney?"

"I never thought I'd say this, Marcus, but I'm happy to hear your voice," I let out, nearly sagging in relief.

"Ooh!" Sydney exclaimed suddenly, and she shook me. "Make sure you tell him that I recruited a Merry Man of my own."

I heard Marcus swear on the other end of the line. "A _what?_ What is a Merry Man? What the hell is she talking about?"

"Never heard the reference before in my life." I stood up from the bed and gave Sydney a large smile. "Wait, here," I told her. "I'm going to go get the pizza, and I'll tell him all about the Merry Man you recruited."

I closed the door to my bedroom behind me, and leaned against for a moment taking a deep breath. "Jesus Christ," I whispered to myself, remembering how close she'd come to removing her bra. I could hear Marcus demanding answers from on the other side of the call and I put the phone back to my ear. "She's drunk," I said flatly.

"Really? I thought her IQ had just dropped 200 points since I saw her earlier. Keep her cellphone away from her. She might call Stanton," he ordered. Normally, I would've told him he didn't boss me around like he did his little ducklings, but I was too distracted by a few of his words to do so.

"You saw her earlier?" I had forgotten they'd had plans to 'talk.' "Did _you_ get her drunk?"

He sighed. "Not directly, no. Though what I told her might've contributed..."

The doorbell rang, signaling the pizza was here. I balanced the phone between my shoulder and my ear and gave the pizza guy a fifty dollar bill. "Here, just, uh, keep the change," I ordered, half-tossing the pizza box onto the counter.

"What the hell did you tell her?" I demanded, as I shut the door. "Sydney never drinks. This isn't her. I swear to God if this has something to do with one of your conspiracy theories-"

"I don't feel right about telling you. Aside from me, Sydney's pretty much the only who knows, and if she wants to tell you, I'd rather she do it herself."

Well that was…oddly considerate. "I'm trying to help her," I said reasonably. "We're really close friends. If you don't tell me tonight, she'll tell me tomorrow."

He was silent for a long time. When he did tell me what had happened, I sank down onto the plaid couch, frozen. I had no words to offer him, no witty remarks, nothing. Instead, I hung up, as okay with avoiding discussing the subject any further as he was. For a moment, the world around me spun, and I rested my head in my hands. This was worse than I ever could've imagined.

Never in any of my wildest nightmares would I have imagined the Alchemists would have done something like this to her. I knew that they were hateful and manipulative, but this? This had to be the absolute worst thing they could've done, and some part of me was certain that was exactly why they'd done it. Sydney's mind, as she'd told me once, was who she was. She'd told me she'd rather suffer any injury in the world than have her mind tampered with. I knew her better than I knew myself, and I knew she used her intelligence and her competence to make up for any insecurities she had. For someone to touch her mind, her memories…it left her completely vulnerable and violated; it left her entirely and helplessly out of control.

"Fifteen years," I murmured aloud to myself, shaking my head slowly. Sydney and Marcus had grown up in the same house together. They had the same parents, the same background, they were family. I'd known Sydney for a little less than six months. Sure, she was the most important person in her life, as I was hers, but I hadn't always been.

And really, when I gave it some thought, the family connection between Sydney and the ex-Alchemist made sense. I'd always sensed something was off about him, but I'd never been able to put my finger on it. I'd cited his wanting her to go to Mexico as an obsession with using her for his cause but now… well, everything was different to say the least.

But if the Alchemists could take away fifteen years of memories, what could they do with six months? If they could take away someone as close to her as Marcus was, if they could make him nothing more than a stranger to her… what could they do to her memories of me? Would she look at me one day the way she'd looked at him when she'd first seen him again? Would she look at me and not remember the first spirit dream we'd shared, where she'd told me she trusted me? Would she not remember the way it'd felt the first time I'd kissed her? Would she not remember the thrill it gave her when I said the words "I love you,"?

And who was I to let her risk this? Who was I to hold her, to kiss her, to want her, when she was up against such odds, when she should've been keeping herself safe? Was I worth it?

I already knew the answer, of course. No, I wasn't worth it. I also knew what I was going to have to do tomorrow, when she'd sobered up. Lately, I'd done a lot of thinking about growing up, and those thoughts seemed to engulf me now. If I really loved Sydney, I was going to have to make her put herself first, not us. If I really loved her, I was going to have to let her go.

* * *

**AN: Alright, before you kill me, Adrian's going to learn some lessons because of this decision, and the first one will be learned sooner than later, I promise. Let me know what you guys are thinking of the story! I love reading reviews and hearing your thoughts. :) And even though Sydney has kind of been seen as the character that would never drink, well, it's a sign of how distraught she is that she did. I very much feel that The Fiery Heart might as well be named "Sydney's Downward Spiral" because I believe her breaking is inevitable. To be honest, I'm expected her to break in The Indigo Spell, but nothing really happened that was bad enough to make her.**

**As always, thank you to my wonderful beta, Tegan. :) **


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Ten**

**Sydney **

I had never felt so horrible in my life. My head felt like it was going to explode, my stomach was queasy and the mere thought of navigating Amberwood's crowded hallways this morning made me want to stay under my covers for the rest of my life. Why did I feel so sick? Had breaking my tattoo made me susceptible to routine illnesses?

As I rubbed my forehead, a rush of blurry memories came flooding back to me and I groaned internally. Yesterday had been one of the most earth-shattering days of my life, and in a moment of desperation and stupidity, I'd chosen to drink.

"I am never touching alcohol again," I said into my pillow. Mustering up all of the strength I had, I grabbed the love phone from my purse. How had I even gotten back to my dorm? The last thing I remembered was drinking wine at Adrian's apartment. When I turned on the love phone, I saw it was still on the compose new message screen. On it, Adrian had typed me a note.

_Had Jill lead Zoe out of ur dorm. Brought u up and made sure you were fast asleep before she returned. Meet Jill outside ur dorm at 7. Told her tips to give u about hangovers. _

I eyed Zoe's sleeping figure warily. It was nearly seven, and she would be up soon. I got dressed as quietly as I could, doing my best not to stumble. The more I thought about last night, the more embarrassed I grew. What I'd done was immature and irresponsible, but for some reason, I didn't really care as much as I normally would have.

It was just as if the things that had once mattered didn't anymore. My hair wasn't perfectly styled? Adrian loved my hair any way I wore it. My mom called and I didn't answer? Well, she was probably in on all of my family's secrets too, considering she was a witch and had never seen it a necessary to let me know. Alicia might still be up to her old tricks? Right now, she wasn't my problem. Zoe was blindly following the Alchemists? One day she'd learn her lesson; I certainly had. Why should I ever bother trying to fix everything around me when everything around me was already broken beyond repair?

Maybe it made me selfish, or maybe, _maybe, _it just made me human.

When I stepped outside of my dorm, I found Jill waiting for me. She had a makeup bag in her right hand and a brush in her left. "Hey," she said, giving me a kind smile. Somehow, her pity made things a lot worse however I did my best to pretend it wasn't there.

"How much of last night did you see?" I asked her wearily.

"I know everything," she admitted. "About you drinking, and um, what Marcus told you. Adrian called him and Marcus told him the whole story."

"I'm going to need more than make-up to fix my eyes," I told her, ignoring her words. My eyes were worn and bloodshot.

"Just follow me outside, okay?"

I did as she requested however, touched that she was helping me, but once again, I felt that feeling of embarrassment. _I _was supposed to be taking care of her, not vice versa. When we arrived outside, Eddie was sitting on a bench with a cup of coffee.

"That better not be for me," I told him.

"You want me to pour it out?"

I rushed over to him, or, well, I did my best to. "No, of course not." I sat on the bench between the two of them, and forced myself to relax, inhaling some of the fresh early morning air. Jill was about to start applying concealer to my face when I stopped her, giving her a smile. "I can apply my makeup, but thanks." I looked to Eddie. "Both of you."

I studied Eddie carefully, trying to determine how much he knew of my current situation. When I saw Jill flushing, I knew she'd spilled some details to him.

"Did you guys really get up this early to help me cope with an irresponsible decision?" I asked. For some reason, they both averted their eyes. Was I that hideous at the moment?

"We were sort of on a date," Jill admitted, giving Eddie a reassuring look.

I shook my head slowly, trying to get rid of the fogginess. "Wait…like, a romantic date?"

This amused Eddie. "Adrian practically forced me to ask her out, so I took her to get some coffee this morning."

I smiled at the two of them, happy that two people I cared about could find a way to be happy. Even if I was lost, I was relieved Eddie and Jill weren't. Leave it to Adrian to play matchmaker in a way that actually worked. I had been trying to get them together for the last four months, and Adrian had managed to fix things in a weekend. "How did you get Zoe out of my room last night?" I asked Jill curiously.

Jill smiled, a mischievous twinkle in her eyes. "I might've told her I was worried a student had seen my fangs."

Oh no. That was probably the worst thing she could've done. Still, it had saved Zoe from seeing me drunk and though I wasn't as worried about her knowing I'd drank, I was more worried about what I might've said in front of her. I was about to thank Jill and Eddie again, when I noticed their attention was on something, or rather someone, in front of us. My mouth dropped open when I saw who was walking toward us: Sabrina, one of Marcus's "Merry Men."

"Well, we better go," Jill said nervously.

Eddie looked confused. "Okay…" I realized that although Jill must've told him I'd gotten drunk, she hadn't told him why which I was immensely grateful for. It felt like the entire world knew about my family's divorce, and that was more than enough. I didn't want every single one of my family's twisted secrets on display.

Eddie and Jill left, and I eyed Sabrina cautiously as she approached. She carried a gun, and she enjoyed flashing it around to intimidate people whom dare cross her. She was Marcus's right hand, and I'd never been all too fond of her, not that I had any say in the matter. "I can't stay," she announced crossly, and she handed me a medium-sized package.

I gave her just as cross of a look in return. "Are you his personal delivery girl now too?"

Sabrina glowered. "Just open it. And make sure you're alone."

She left pretty quickly, and I began opening the package a little warily. When I got past the first layer of wrapping, I let out a sigh of annoyance. Written on the second layer in permanent marker were the words, "Make sure you're alone." I glanced around and tore past the second layer, only to find a third layer.

"You have _got_ to be kidding me," I said to myself. Written on the third layer were the words, "Are you sure you're alone? If your answer is yes, proceed." Once I'd peeled back the third layer, I found the box. I opened it cautiously, checking one more time to make sure there was no one around.

Inside, I found a battered copy of the Catcher in the Rye, with a post it on the top that said, "Open it." My irritation was growing with each new development in this ridiculous scavenger hunt. When I opened the flap, I noticed the name written in familiar handwriting on the first page.

_Jared Sage._

Angry, I slammed the book shut. Had Marcus not rubbed my face in the truth enough yesterday? Had it crossed his mind maybe I wasn't as into focusing on it as he was? When I lifted the book to put it back in the box, a small flash drive fell out. My anger faded a little and I placed the flash drive in my purse. The only other items remaining in the box were a small bottle containing some sort liquid and a note. Hoping the note wouldn't be another "clue", I opened it.

_Make sure you open the documents on the flash drive with headphones in. I haven't played these recordings for anyone other than myself, and I want this to stay between us for the time being. The bottle in this package has a mixture that will make your eyes seem less bloodshot. Use two drops in each eye. _

_Stay safe._

I stared at the letter for a few moments, perplexed by the conflicting emotions stirring within me. I wasn't sure what to feel, and perhaps that was the worst part of this entire situation. If the Alchemists hadn't messed with my mind, I probably would've been touched to receive a letter from my… brother, relieved to know he was okay, and that he was concerned about me, yet…I _couldn't_ feel that way. Instead, I was confused by the entire display, and angry at myself for being so confused.

"Melbourne?" A voice called. I stuffed the supplies from the box in my purse, except for the eye drops. I hastily put two drops in each of my eyes, hoping they would work before Trey reached me. The eye drops burned and I blinked repeatedly to clear my vision.

"Hey, Trey," I told him, as the world around me grew a little clearer.

Suspicion was etched across his face. "How do you know Sabrina?" He asked, perplexed by the entire situation.

I was stunned for a moment. I hadn't thought there was anyone around. "Mutual friend," I said quickly.

He looked around, as though he was worried someone might overhear what he was about to say. "Marcus Finch?" He asked smugly, seeming irritated.

"I don't know what you mean," I said automatically.

"What the hell were you talking about when you called me last night then?" He asked.

"I called you last night?" I blurted out.

Trey looked more surprised than he would've been if I'd failed a test. "I _knew _you were drunk. You kept saying I should be a Merry Man." He shook his head, seeming at a loss. "What the hell, Melbourne? You sounded ready to start a revolution. You were preaching about how we needed to destroy the Warriors and the Alchemists and shit. I thought it was funny until you said something about the Alchemists lying to you about Marcus Finch."

I swallowed. Getting drunk last night had been such a huge mistake, and it was one I couldn't afford to make again. "Well, they did. You know from the Warrior's arena. The Alchemists hadn't told me that he'd betrayed them."

Trey didn't seem to either buy this lie or completely dismiss it. Mostly, he was just watching me in a way that was making me uncomfortable. It was as though he were seeing me in a new light… as though he were realizing I wasn't as well-behaved as the Alchemists would've liked. "Just be careful, Melbourne," he finally said as the bell rang, signalling that it was time for class.

Most of the day passed by in a blur, and I was surprised to find that Marcus's drops had not only made my eyes seem good as new, but helped all of my other symptoms as well. I couldn't help but wish I'd had them for Jill, back when Adrian had been drinking regularly. Ms. Terwilliger had no news on Alicia, and after tracking me down as soon as possible, Zoe seemed completely oblivious to last night's events. I packed the gang into Coal that afternoon and as we rode to Clarence's for Jill's feeding, I was feeling slightly better about things, though in a lot of ways, it was a delusion.

Adrian was waiting inside at Clarence's and I was so, so happy just to get to see him. I didn't remember much about what happened last night, but I knew that he had been there for me, like he always was. Adrian was a beacon of truth in a dark web of lies and deception, and I was so grateful to call him mine. When he slipped off to get his blood from Dorothy, I found a way to follow, citing I was going to go plug my phone into the car charger.

I asked Adrian to follow me to the car before he visited Dorothy, and he agreed. When we far out of everyone's sight, I took his hand in mine.

"I'm so sorry about last night. I don't know what came over me," I said, meeting his emerald eyes. "Thank you for taking care of me."

He smiled, though it didn't touch his eyes. "Just returning one of your many favors." He brushed a few stray stands of hair behind me ear. "Are you okay?"

I didn't answer his question; I wasn't in the mood to talk. With a fierceness that seemed to surprise both of us, I pushed him up against Coal and kissed him. This kiss was different than our previous ones. There was a desperation in it, a need for escape. The intoxicating feel of Adrian's lips against mine was the only thing that had ever made me stop thinking, and that was what I needed right now. I just wanted to forget, to lose myself in the feeling of empowerment and happiness I felt when he responded so eagerly to my touches.

He pulled back, which surprised me. He wasn't usually one to break physical contact of any sort. His brow was lined with tension, and his eyes were filled with a sadness I didn't quite understand. "Adrian?" I asked, running my hand across his cheek. He took it and placed it firmly by my side. I stared in shock for a moment and then took a step back. "What's wrong?" I asked, a bit more harshly than I'd intended.

He seemed to be groping for words. "We can't do this, Sydney," he said quietly.

I looked around, confused. "Adrian, no one's going to come out here."

"I'm not just talking about this, I'm talking about us."

A long and heavy silence fell, as I absorbed his words. I'd spent most of the day in a fog and this made it vanish entirely. "Why on earth would you say that?"

He seemed surprised that I had to ask, and he ran a hand through his hair, something he did when he was nervous, or worried. "The fact that you have to ask says it all. Sydney, the Alchemists _messed with your mind."_ He put his hands on my shoulders and leaned down to meet my eyes, as to make sure I could understand him clearly.

His words sent a jolt of pain through me, and I took a deep breath. "I'm aware of this. I'm not aware of what it has to do with _us,_ though."

"Sydney…" he murmured, searching my eyes as though he were looking for something, perhaps the reaction he was expecting. "They messed with your mind because your brother left them. Do you know what they would do to you if they found out about _us?_ They erased an entire person from your life because he dared to disagree with them. And this… what we're doing… we're making what Marcus did look like a children's game!"

I took a step back from him, growing angry. "Are you implying what I think you're implying? That just because this is risky, we shouldn't do it?" I shook my head and gave him a disbelieving look. "I thought you knew what you were signing up for when you told me you loved me. All of this, all of the rule-breaking, finding Marcus, completing his perilous mission, getting better at the magic, breaking my tattoo, staying in Palm Springs on a ticking clock… all of it, everything I've done has been partly for you! Don't you get that?" I demanded, fighting the urge to shake some sense into him.

He nodded, his eyes brimming with emotion. "Yes, I do."

I scoffed. "Well, what have I done to give you the impression I don't understand every single risk I'm taking?"

"Things are different now," he insisted. "This thing with your mind… it changes things! Why aren't you reacting more strongly to it? I know you're scared. You've _got _to be. Hell, Sage, you downed an entire bottle of wine to escape last night! You're hurt and I want to help you, but Sage, running around with you when there are people that will mess with your mind after you… that's not helping you."

"The Alchemists aren't after me," I said through gritted teeth. I reached out for his hand and squeezed it so tightly it must've hurt him. "Adrian, please don't do this right now. I need you," I added softly, feeling tears forming in my eyes. This wasn't happening; it couldn't be.

He closed his eyes and then reopened them after taking in a deep breath and exhaling it shakily. "I'll be your friend, Sydney, but that's it. I'm not going to put you in danger like this anymore." He took a deep breath, and watched me, sorrow flooding his emerald eyes. "I'm not worth giving up everything."

I was about to argue more when I caught myself. _I'm not worth giving up everything._ The Alchemists messing with my mind had woken him up from the same dreamlike state I'd been in, but it was fear that was eating him alive now and causing him to make this decision. It wasn't just the fear of getting caught, either. It was the fear of not being worthy, the fear of letting me down, like he so often felt he did everyone else in his life. His old insecurities had been stirred by the ever present danger that loomed over us, and he didn't know how to battle them. He didn't know how to believe he was worth risking so much, because no one had ever let him believe he was.

My understanding of the situation helped me calm down, and I gave him a sad smile. "Adrian, you are worth it to me. If you weren't, I wouldn't be here."

A range of emotions seemed to cross his face: hope, frustration, anger, and then something akin to defeat. With one last piercing look, he turned his back on me and went inside. I leaned against Coal for support. Adrian had just broken up with me…yet, in my heart I knew we weren't really over. He was just afraid, like I'd been, when I'd been so convinced I'd needed to go to Mexico. He would push past this, and we would work through everything as a team, like we always did. I just had to be strong enough to wait for him to come around, and really, I had been the stubborn one. Adrian would give into his heart a lot more easily than I had.

When the gang and I arrived back at Amberwood, I headed straight to my dorm. Zoe said she was going to the library, and I had never been happier for her to be invested in studying. My solitude gave me some time to work on some magic, and prepare some amulets for protection and such, taking my mind off this afternoon's revelation. The conflicted and saddened look in Adrian's eyes continued to haunt my thoughts, and I worked not to let it get to me. When eight o'clock rolled around, Zoe was still nowhere in sight, and I pulled out my laptop and inserted Marcus's flashdrive, not entirely sure what to expect.

The audio loaded, and I put my headphones in, just as he had instructed. The recording began to play, and I gasped when I realized who I was listening to: A man and woman mid-conversation. The man's voice was Master Jameson's; I recognized it from the arena. The female voice was Sabrina's.

"_If we get our hands on that girl, all of our problems will be solved. We can put an end to them once and for all," Jameson said. His deep voice was low and commanding. _

"_You're right__,__ sir," said Sabrina._

"_She's undercover at that Prep school, and they can't keep her hidden much longer. Getting our hands on her won't be nearly as hard as they think, though we need an inside connection, someone the girl and her friends will trust. Once we have that, we're in."_

"_Are you sure the girl undercover at this school is the one?"_

"_Positive."_

"Oh my God," I breathed, and I was about to save the file to my computer it when it deleted itself. I stared at the computer in disbelief, and nearly jumped out of my skin when the only other file on the disk opened automatically. It was a text document, obviously written by Marcus, that read:

_I had the copy delete itself because I can't risk you going to Stanton with this, no offense. It's too big of a lead, and it needs to stay in our hands, not the Alchemists. The Warriors need a way to get inside your group. Last I heard, you and Trey Juarez were friends. Hope you're ready to do some recruiting of your own. _

_P.S. I've known about your mission since it was established. Your group isn't the only one that's been keeping an eye on the Dragomir princess. I'm not nearly as misinformed as you and your friends seem to think._

* * *

**AN: Phew. This chapter had a lot in it. There are things being laid out in it that will come up ten chapters later. Sydrian won't be apart long, I promise, but Adrian has a reason to be scared. As for Marcus, I didn't buy the whole "They talk, you act," thing at the end of The Indigo Spell, though I understand where it came from. ****It was obvious (in my opinion) a lot of his friendly and everything-is-right-in-the-world behavior was a facade. I was stunned Sydney never asked him any personal questions; it didn't fit her curious nature. I thought he and Sydney had really bad communication, which was probably by design.**

**Question: What did you guys think of The Indigo Spell? I haven't asked you yet. I was disappointed, to be honest, but I still love the series, of course!**

******As always, thank you so much for your reviews. I love reading them, and knowing what you're thinking of the story. :)**

**Also, a thanks to my lovely beta, Tegan.**


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